I Don’t Have To Do My Laundry

            Before I left there were a lot of unknowns, my address being a big one, but a lot of other things too.  What are the flights like, how long does it take to get there what will it be like?  All those things were questions I have.  My best friend and I were talking and she asked me if there would be an in-flight movie leaving the states.  She told me that, if not she would be spend her tax dollars for that.  Well there was a movie, a couple older ones, honestly I posted them in a different post and like I said then I was sleeping most of the flight.  But that is a side note and I bring it up to say there are some things that anyone would expect, like in-flight movies on an over 7 hour flight.  But there are things that I wasn’t sure to expect either.  Now I will say that I have had several friends who have deployed and so I did know that this might be coming.  But, I cannot wash my own clothes.  I guess I could if I want to take up a bathroom sink and wash them by hand and then find a place to lay them out to dry, which let’s face it I put a picture of my room up, that isn’t happening.  There is a laundry service here, and I bring them my small bag of laundry, there is a weight limit you can’t bring too much, and I fill out a piece of paper with what I have in my bag and I turn my clothes over to them.  Then they take that off base someplace and do my laundry. 

            Why am I blogging about this you wonder, well I told you there will be times where it is just stuff that I find interesting or strange.  And sometimes it is things only a mother would care about.  But here is what I thought as I dropped my clothes off the other day, “why can’t I do my own laundry, I don’t know that I really want someone else washing my clothes.”  For as long as I can remember my mom taught us to do our own laundry.  It was a chore of ours from a relatively young age, admittedly I don’t iron, but I do my own laundry.  (Most of the time)  I have been on my own for about 10 years and have always done my own laundry whether taking it to the laundry mat, or fighting over the machines in the dorms.  It is weird for me to not do it myself.   It is weird for me to just drop it off and in a day come back and pick up freshly laundered and folding clothes.  Honestly it is kind of weird to think of someone else washing my undergarments.

            I have actually thought about it a bit, probably more time than it deserves, why is it we have a laundry service.  Well I can tell you right off the bat there are a lot of men in the Army, and a lot of them are young.   I came from a post of basic trainee’s and laundry was not their first priority.  I’m not saying that all men are dirty and that guys can’t do laundry, that is not what I am saying at all.  Just that as a whole men are more likely to not do laundry until they absolutely have to, and in this environment some people think that is a long time.  Again I am focusing more on the young guys right out of high school just out of basic training.  Second,  how do you keep up maintenance on a bunch of washers and dryers here, those things break down all the time with normal use, add this type of use they would never survive and with a couple machines being out of order at a time, and the number of people on the base it would be difficult to keep maintained and everyone in good graces while dealing with each other and the machines.  Third we are providing some assistance to the local economy, the laundry is done locally and the service is run by local nationals, in an economy such as it is here every little bit helps. 

            And finally, I realized that there are more important things to worry about then taking a few hours out of your week to get your laundry done.  This is a 24/7 job, one that really you can’t just get away from a tough day at the office.  You will be there for 12 hours or more and you will be going back tomorrow.  Most of the units don’t have more than half a day off a week.  And really when you have your half day off you’re not going anyway.  You work, live, eat, and play, at the office really.  So there is a luxury to being deployed in that someone does your laundry for you.  But really I am glad that we are willing to give our soldiers that, so that the few hours of free time they have is not spent washing clothes but maybe playing a game of pool or talking to their family.  I again am ever more thankful for my job because I do have access to the internet pretty much all day, I work at a computer.  But some of these guys are going out and doing patrols, or trainings and don’t have the same luxuries I do.  So, thank you, for the in-flight movie, and the ability to not have to worry about washing my clothes.  It is for my love of country that I am here, not the pay I am making, I could make a lot more someplace else, but, there are something that make it a bit easier to be here and have one less thing to figure out even if it is a little strange to not have to do it myself.

Me and the Gym

The Gym

            I set myself a few goals for my deployment, keeping in touch with people, reading some books, and then going to the gym, among a few random other ones.  But I planned on going to the gym on a regular basis and really getting into great shape.  A myth about people I the Army is that we are all in really great shape.  That isn’t always the case, it depends on your job, the unit you are with and really your own motivation.  My own motivation has really been lacking plus just the business of life and the job really caught up with me back home and I got out of the habit.

            As most if not all of you know I had knee surgery a little over a year ago and since then I haven’t been consistent on my physical activity, I do what I need to, to get by and pass the PT test, and then until it is time to take it again I don’t do a lot in between.  Part of it is because I have to change some of what I used to enjoy doing.  I know that surgery was supposed to put it back exactly where it was but it didn’t it still gets sore, and it hurts when I do certain exercises and run on certain surfaces.  I also know that part of me is scared of hurting it again.  It was painful and a long recovery, one that I don’t want to go through again, and I’ve seen a lot of people have to go through it a few times.  So needless to say my physical fitness is not where it should be, so I decided that a goal of this deployment would be to get to the gym, after all there isn’t much else to do around here and it is a good thing to do to get out of the office (currently the library we are working out of) or my room. 

            I have been running on the treadmills, not my favorite thing but they are good, running in this place is difficult that is for sure and I am pretty certain it is not all because I am out of shape.  We are at a higher altitude so the air is thinner and then the air quality isn’t very good, apparently especially in the winter because people around this area burn whatever they can find for heat.  But I’m not letting that discourage me, I figure if I can run here and get better than when I get home it will be that much easier. 

            So the gym is kind of my outlet, my way of getting out and sticking to a routine and a goal, so I don’t hang around moping or locked up.  I have been able to shoot around a bit which has been nice but no games for me, I am about 5 – 10 years older than the guys that are playing and I can’t keep in step with them plus they are a bit too competitive for my liking, at least in this environment.  But I have played some volleyball and sometimes get so lost in working out that I have been in the gym for almost three hours at a time, that is not the norm but it has happened a few times.  

            I’m not sure why I wrote a whole post about the gym and me going, but I will say over the last couple weeks it has kind of been a sanctuary to me, things can be kind of get claustrophobic here and the gym is one of the few outlets there is.  It helps me forget that I don’t know many people here and that I don’t have a lot else going on.  I have always been a busy person, I thrive on being busy.  I remember my brother-in-law once asking me if I could spend a whole Saturday at home, without going anywhere or doing anything, honestly that is hard for me most of the time, not to say I haven’t done it but I like to get out, I like to be with people and be doing things.  So this is kind of hard for me, but I am adjusting somewhat to the difference

This is a Small Army

            This is probably going to be a post title that I use a few times, why, well because it is a small army and there are many times you run across people which remind you of that.  Here in Afghanistan it is no different.  This is about a couple different incedents.

            The first is a short story not very exciting but just interesting at least to me.  Prior to deploying I was stationed at Fort Leonard Wood, the reason that is important is because Fort Leonard Wood is not commonly thought of as a deploying post, although now there is a forcecom unit that deploys some companies.  But generally most of the people who meet there will not deploy from Fort Leonard Wood.  I realize I am saying this having deployed out of there but if you haven’t realized already being a part of Trial Defense Services is a bit different.  Anyway, prior to leaving I ran into a 1LT who has just recently been stationed at Fort Leonard Wood, honestly I can’t even remember how we met or what we talked about but simply that she was new to the area of Fort Leoanrd Wood and getting adjusted to the tradoc lifestyle, tradoc is the training command.  Fort Leonard Wood has several basic training and AIT units, it trains the Military Police, Engineers, and Chemical, as well as the truck drivers.  Well anyway the other day I was walking into the dining hall and there was the 1LT that I had just spoken to right before leaving Fort Leonard Wood.  Shock was on both our faces I’m sure, but it was nice to see a familiar face, even if we don’t really know each other or see each other.  Apparently she got orders very quickly to deploy and they sent her here.

            I have spent most of my meals eating in the dining hall by myself, which opens up the opportunity for other people to sit around or near me.  The dining hall is set up similar to a cafeteria with long rows of tables.  Well, the other day I was sitting down and eating when a few gentlemen of high rank came and sat in the open seats near me.  I need to fill in a hole here for a minute, I wear the TDS patch with is the scales of justice balanced on a sword with a star in the middle.  Most people can quickly tell I am an attorney but if you are not a part of the JAG Corps people don’t necessarily recognize it as the TDS patch.  So I was sitting at lunch and a group of gentlemen came up and seat in the open seats.  One of them immediately recognized my patch as being TDS and then began to ask me about the chief of TDS.  I was a bit intimidated for a moment but had a very good conversation.  I soon found out that he was the XO for one of the General Officers here at Camp Phoenix and he was a JAG officer and a former Trial Defense Attorney.  There is some comradery there immediately and it is nice to be reminded how small the JAG Corps is and that we are a family really, when we see someone who is new or alone we make them feel welcome regardless of rank or job assignment.

            That is one of the many reasons I am thankful I joined the Army JAG Corps, no matter where I am in the world, if you meet another JAG they are helpful and kind, I have never felt blown off by another JAG whether they are reservist or active duty.  Now, don’t get me wrong there are some people who I don’t necessarily see myself hanging out with or having dinner with all the time.  And there are, just like in any job or group of people, some not so nice JAGs but over all there is a since of family and support, which is hard to find in some other jobs.

Waiting on the Fear To Come

                I have been nervous about deploying, what is it going to be like, what will I do, will I meet people, all of those things, but I have never questioned it, I have never even fear it.  And I realize this is because this is where I am supposed to be.  Most of my posts will be about my experiences, what I’ve noticed and what is going on around me, but this is going to be a moment just about me.  So forgive me for a moment while I share.

                Ever since I can remember I wanted to be a lawyer, the younger I was the more things I wanted to be but lawyer was always one of them.  I don’t know why, no one in my family was a lawyer.  My grandfathers were doctors, my immediate family all math people, including as I got older my brothers-in-law.  But I wanted to be a lawyer.  As I got older it just stuck it because what I was going to do, no matter what.  My senior year of college, I was studying for the LSAT and I was second guessing my decision but I kept with it.  My first year of law school I hated it, I even started talking to mentors about doing something else for a while and leaving law school.  But a wise man, mentor, former professor and I like to think friend, talked me into riding it out.  He said even if I didn’t practice law I would know that I  accomplished what I had set out to do and I wouldn’t ever second guess myself.  So I stuck it out, Thanks Dr. Kilt J

                Then as I was ending my law school career I had to start thinking about what I wanted to do next and I was in almost the same place again I had no idea what I wanted to do.  After I joined, I was contacted and this story was written I think it best details why I joined the Corps.  http://www.goarmy.com/stories/berea-native-joins-us-army-jag-to-help-soldiers-in-need.html

Story by Rachael Tolliver

     It has been said that when we are young the little things we experience are the things that shape our lives.

For First Lieutenant Stacee Blackburn, a Berea, Ky., native, her seventh-grade scrapbook project and two WWII writings by her grandfather were the two little things that helped shape her life. These events directed her toward a career in the Army, after law school, and a job as an attorney with the U.S. Army Judge Advocate Corps.

"When I was in about seventh grade I was trying to decide what to get my mom for Christmas, and I didn't have much money," she explained. "While I was deciding what to do for her I was going through some old boxes of stuff from my grandmother's house. She died the year before. In those boxes I found some poems, stories and such that my grandfather had written before he died."

     In an effort to preserve them, Blackburn decided to type and print the material she found into a book for her mother and aunts for Christmas. In the process she learned about her grandfather, who had died before she was born. Of the things she discovered, the one that impressed her most was his service to his family and his country in a time that defined the "greatest generation."

"He had written (poems and stories) about his time in the service...they give a better idea of why I felt like I wanted to be a part of something bigger than myself," she recalled.

     Blackburn graduated high school, attended the University of Louisville for her undergraduate degree, and later graduated from its law school. She also worked at Fultz Maddox Hovious & Dickens law firm, in Louisville, acquiring legal experience. It was at the end of law school that Blackburn's thoughts returned to the military.

    

     "To be honest, I wasn't sure what I wanted to do when I was getting done with (law) school and had to start thinking about the rest of my life," she recalled.

     So, at the suggestion of a friend, she followed her seventh-grade discovery and visited a U.S. Army recruiter.

"As I walked out of the meeting I thought and prayed, 'God if the JAG Corp is where you want me then they will send me a letter offering me a commission,' and I left. I filled out the application, mailed it in, and just continued on with my job search not really thinking anything about it. But when I got the letter offering me the commission I knew it was my chance be to a part of what my grandfather had written about so many years ago."

     Blackburn said she thinks one of the big things she will get out of the military is growth and maturity. But she said she now has the ability to help soldiers who are serving their country and need some help of their own. Providing that help is important to her, she said.

Her parents have been supportive of everything she has done since making the decision, she said, and even helped her pack her belongings to move to her first permanent duty station.

     "My mom's first question was 'will you be getting deployed?' She then said she was proud of me and always knew I would be a lawyer (who was) not out for money but to help, and what better place to help than in the Army.

"My dad was proud...I remember when I was leaving for training he had this huge smile on his face and a couple tears in his eyes and told me how proud he was of me."

     She said she comes from a patriotic family—both grandfathers were doctors who served in the military—and she said her parents "are the people who, on any patriotic holiday, wear the flag shirts of red white and blue—the kind that when your kids are in middle school and high school can seem almost embarrassing."

     But she said their patriotism carried over to her. "I can remember the feeling I had hearing (the National Anthem) the first time I went to a baseball game after I joined the Army," she recalled. "The ball park was having military appreciation day and the National Anthem played...there was a pride but it was different because I realized I was 'one of those people.' I could be making a difference."

Blackburn is currently assigned to the JAG office at Fort Leonard Wood, Mo., and said she is learning about the legal world that is specific to the military as well as a few things law school couldn't teach her.

     "Well first off (I learned) how to shoot an M4 and do land navigation—I never learned anything like that in law school," she said. "As far as legally, there are some military specific things I learned regarding the (Servicemembers Civil Relief Act). I learned a lot about international law and operational law that are very military specific, a proper military target and a commander's responsibility.

"Not something I learned in the military but something that is different...everyone wants to help each other in the military, not compete with each other, where as in law school, most people are really just competing for class rank."

     She said she came into the Army thinking if she could help one soldier, she'd be making a difference and so far she feels she had done that. She added that she likes the people she works with and the office she's in because it all "clicks." And she's enjoying her decision to serve in the JAG corps because "we have the office environment but still everything works together to make for an office that is worth working for."

     While the military isn't for everyone, Blackburn said that she wished everyone could find a way to serve their country.

"There is a growing sense of (apathy) in America—people are out for themselves and they forget all that they have is because someone, somewhere, fought for them to have (lots of) freedom," she said. "Too often we forget what brought us to where we are. There (seems to be) a loss of pride for our country and our men and women who support and fight for it in all the different capacities."

She added that she thought if everyone found a way to serve, somewhere, there might be more sense of pride in their country.

"I am an optimist and I want to believe that people want to serve and help (others)," she said. "I think there is a lot to learn when someone gives up their time to help better the life of someone else."

               This still rings true, I can still remember walking out of that meeting and saying "ok God if this is what you want me to do I will be offered a commission," and when I got the letter there was no question in my mind, I was going to serve in the JAG Corps.  The same is true about this deployment, God showed me this is where I need to be and I haven’t questioned at least not since I started this journey.  Trust me it has taken a long time to see what this whole law thing was supposed to be about, and I am still learning every day but I know this is where I am supposed to be.  No matter what happens while I am here I have such a peace about it and I am so so thankful for that.  I think that is why I want to stress that this Blog is my experience and my experience will be like no one else's because it is me, in fact no two experiences are the same, so I am just trying to give a glimpse of what it is like for me.

                It is funny because I can trust so much now about being a lawyer, being in the Army, and being deployed that I don’t even fear the environment that I am in at all but I can’t seem to trust Him in my personal life, I am trying to be patient though.

                I don’t mean any of this to say how great I am, actually the opposite, this blog honestly is just so that my family and friends can stay on top of what is going on with me and I don’t leave anyone out.  I hope to never come across like this is something great I am doing.  I actually feel like I am cheating, I get to say I am deployed and I don’t have to do what so many others are doing for us.  I am thankful for those who are in the fight and I am honored to be one the fringe and hopefully help out a little.  So I say all that to say that and the title is waiting on the fear to come but I don’t think it will because I know that no matter what I am currently exactly where I am supposed to be.

Things I miss from Home

                So this too will probably be a running theme throughout the Blog, some of the creature comforts I miss from home.  But this is not going to be about what I don’t have, or at least I hope it doesn’t turn into that but rather, "you don’t really miss it until it is not there" kind of thing.  I already have several things I could write about here, things that I have taken for granted and now that I don’t have them I miss them.  I will probably write about them later, oh who am I kidding I’m sure I will.  But today it is about a window.  I miss having a window!

                This has become apparent to me at many different times in my couple weeks here, how much I have taken having windows for granted.  See, you have to understand that here building material is at a premium, there aren’t luxuries and they are created for style but rather function.  I currently live in one of the newer, nicer buildings and there are still very few windows in that, and my room, because it is an inside room, does not have a window.  If you are lucky enough to have a window in your office or your room it is not the type of window you would expect to see in an office building it is small and does not open, at least not the ones here.  That being said, I don’t want people to think that there is no place on base that has windows, that is simply not true.  If the building was preexisting, a structure that we were able to salvage and use when we created the base, then there are windows, they are just a bit dingy and unclear.  As I stated before a lot of the buildings have a “window” that light can come through but it is not a real window you can see out of or get fresh air from (which fresh air is a different post all together).  There have been several times that I have realized how much I miss a window, getting up in the morning  for one thing.

                When you live in a box, with four walls around you, it gets pretty dark when you turn out the lights.  I liken my room to a photo dark room, and the thing is you can really loose track of time.  I know this will shock some people (Uncle Doug and Aunt Alexis) but I am not really a morning person, well at least not anymore, I need time to get up and get moving and I could probably lay in bed most of the morning if I was allowed.  But, if the sun is shinning through the window then I want to get up and start my day, I want to be up and see the sun.   I liken it to a rainy day when all you want to do is lay in bed under the covers and watch movies or read a book.  Without a window I have found that is what I want to do most mornings.  I wake up and can’t tell what time it is, because it is just as dark at midnight as it is at noon.  But also I realized how often I look out the window, or at least try to look out the window on a given day.  To see if people are walking past or what the weather is like and I can’t do that in the mornings.  Makes me miss that.

                The next thing I miss about not having a window is the air, last night I was coming back from the gym and I walked into my room and felt kind of suffocated, I had just been working out and the air is thin up here anyway, and then on top of that I walked into a room with no real air flow I felt suffocated.  So I ended up walking outside and sitting on the steps for a little while.  Just to kind of get some outside air. 

               Last night at the gym they had been doing some work in one of the rooms (repainting or repairing something) and they had used some highly potent chemical so after a half hour of running I couldn’t take it anymore.  That also played into just needing to not feel trapped or suffocated.  As I was walking back to my room I realized that a window makes things not seem as small and even if it is closed I feel like I have a connection to something outside.  So I miss windows for that reason too.

                Like I said earlier I don’t want this to be a woe is me post about what I don’t have, I am lucky, I have running water in my building I have a building and not a tent with 30 others guys, or gals, in it.  I can’t complain it is just something that I used to take for granted and I wanted to write about that. 

 

              So today when you look out your window or tomorrow morning when you wake up and can see the sun, think of a Soldier, or the person, who can’t do that and doesn’t have that and remember how lucky you are it is the small things in life that make it so wonderful. 

             I am only a couple weeks in but I already know how thankful I am for this opportunity.  And I am still honored to serve even without a window in my room. Who am I to complain about not having a window, some people go a year without having any privacy or alone time.

I didn't post pictures with the last couple posts so here they are

The Building I currently live in, one of the nicest buiding on base



My room, don't worry you are seeing the entire thing.  This was taken from the door



Our office building

What should soon be our offices

Standing in our office or we hope soon anyway

No Office No Equipment

            So I have come to Afghanistan as a JAG, and whenever I would tell people this often times they would respond by saying: "What do JAG’s do over there?"  My answer was always, "yes we deploy, and we do a lot of the same things that we do in America over there too, plus there are additional very interesting jobs to be done as well.  Such as helping with the Afghanistan court and legal systems, and working on detainee operations.  But yes there are several of us over here and all of us are working on a variety of things."

            My job while I am over here is to continue what I have been doing for the last year at Fort Leonard Wood, defense work.  I defend Army soldiers who are accused of violating the law, UCMJ, orders etc.  My job itself hasn’t really changed, just the environment in which I am doing it.  Or I should say will be doing it.  One of the tasks myself and my co-worker have been given is to open a new office.  A lot of the focus for a long time had been in Iraq and with operations there beginning to shut down it has given trial defense services more manpower to focus on covering the soldiers in Afghanistan.  Kabul has several camps and FOBs in the area and there has not been a TDS office in the region.  So that is what my partner and I were sent here to do.  He has been in Iraq for almost a year doing defense work and decided to extend his tour in order to help establish this office.  The problem is, there is nothing.

            Well I guess I shouldn’t say nothing we do have a building and it has been wired, however the building is four walls and a roof, there are no offices inside, and there is no equipment at all, no phones, no computers, no paper, kind of a difficult situation to run a law office in.  So the second day in Kabul and I scratch my head again and think, "Ok what now?"  How do you establish an office when the only other person you know in the region is working with you and trying to figure out the same thing.  To be honest this post may be one that continues and evolves into other posts, because honestly we are figuring it out one day at a time.  But, here is what we have figured out so far; we have a building, we are going to be sharing with the IG (inspector general) and now it is in the queue to have walls constructed, ours will be insulated to try and reduce the amount of noise you can hear in order for use to keep client confidentiality; and we learned we need to get a UIC (don’t really know what that stands for) that will allow us to get equipment.  Ok, so we are getting there, but it is difficult, we established accounts on the computer system by borrowing a computer in the commands office, but not all the stuff on our accounts works right so now we have to figure that out, and more importantly we have to figure out how to get some computers and a printer and phones, it is hard to have an office that is supposed to service an entire region when no one can reach you.  So that is where we stand with the office in limbo and working one day at a time trying to figure out what to do next.  Did I mention yet that my time here has been interesting so far? 

All I can say is one step at a time, once we get computers and phones I guess we will figure out where to get office supplies.  I am kind of an office supply nut so I did bring several different types and colors of pens so assuming we can find some things to write on we should be good to go.  Until the office is up any running my co-worker and I have been finding different places to work out of, the first day we worked in the coffee shop on base, but it was noisy.  The next day I discovered the library, this is a building with several books and magazines, it is kind of an exchange system, if you are done with your books you bring them there and you can take others.  Anyway, it is quiet and has three couches and a coffee table in it so we are able to kind of spread out and utilize the space and the better internet connection (better for over here).  This is an area that has been difficult for me, I am a worker, when I start work I work and I work hard.  From the beginning I was told that I would have a smaller case load here then I did at Fort Leonard Wood, but that there would be stuff to keep me busy, and I’m sure there will be once we are able to work, I mean really work.  Hopefully this will happen soon, they told us that is should be something like two to three weeks to get the offices built, so we just really have to push hard to get equipment, not sure where that is going to come from but we will figure. 

I just keep telling myself, how many people, at this point in the operation, can say that they started an office from the ground up?  I mean most people now just come over and take over the office from a unit that was previously here or fill a spot of someone who just left who was doing the exact same job, but as a Captain myself and the senior defense counsel are making an office from the four walls of the building, literally.  Kind of a cool experience even if it does mean a slow start or case work.

Getting a place to stay

             We made it to Camp Phoenix and were dropped off in one of the alleys and pointed in a direction where someone should be able to help us.  So finally, a commercial jet, a few bus rides, a cargo flight, helicopter ride, and a convoy later I am at the place that will be my home for the next year.  Now what do we do? Again it was in the evening, starting to get late and my co-worker and I were not sure what exactly we needed to do, so the PFC we helped out stayed with the baggage while we went to find a place to check in and get some help.  It is hard to explain how difficult it is to find places in such a small area, but buildings are everywhere if there was a spot there is a building, and then there are bunkers around so in order to get where you want to go you have to make a few turns, go down some alleys and there you are.  Well, at night, when you have never been there it is pretty difficult.  But we found the Welcome Center, and sure enough there were people inside who actually had an idea that we were coming. 

                So my co-worker and I checked in, which meant we signed our name on the roaster gave them some contact info and then the lieutenant proceeded to give us the rundown of the camp rules where everything was, and then explained to us that she had temporary rooms for us and hoped to get us into different rooms soon.  Soon is a relative term, basically there is a place on camp called Lego Village, it is named this because it is a bunch of metal conexes stacked on top of each other and turned  different directions, with wooden steps going to the second level.  It has the appearance of a Lego apartment complex.  This is the coveted housing here because: 1) it is close to everything, 2) two they are individual rooms, 3) they are bigger than most rooms (that is not saying they are large).  This area tends to be for officer housing so it stays pretty full.  However, my partner and I were not lucky enough to get housing in these units just yet, hopefully we will be moving there in the not-to-distant-future.  But for the time being I got a room in a “newly constructed” building and it had indoor plumbing so I don’t have to walk outside to take a shower or use the bathroom.  This is HUGE!!  However, there is no window in my room which honestly is more difficult than you would think, because there is NO light coming into the room so when I wake up whether it be in the middle of the night or later morning I don’t have any idea what time of day it is.  A couple mornings I have woken up and could have just slept the rest of the day and never known I missed the day.

                Still I will say no matter what I had prepared myself for and what I was expecting it was still different and kind of a shock to walk into my room.  I have lived on my own for a while now and my last place was a three-bedroom two-and-a-half bath townhouse that my dog and I shared.  So walking into a room that is no more than 6 by 6 and seeing that there is enough room for a bed and then the door so you can walk it was shocking.  I am not complaining though, not at all, (although that may come, just remind me it could be worse)  there are tents that the lower enlisted are in with row after row of bunk beds and they have to walk down the road to get a shower.  So trust me I know how lucky I am to have a single room and even more blessed to have it in a building that has running water.  

                Also we are in buildings or like I said of the enlisted they are in huge tent bays where there are thin or few walls and it is still quiet, because we respect each other, and your neighbor respects you.  The building I am in I fully expected to hear my neighbor talking and moving around and her tv or computer but no, it is quiet occasionally I hear someone coming down the hall, that is to be expected or I hear my neighbor talking to someone on the phone or more likely the computer.  But mostly it is quiet, very quiet.  Today I had the opportunity to go in to one of the open bay tents and it was the same way, soldiers taking a nap or watching TV with their headphones in.  Playing games on their computer with the volume turned off, again because there is respect.  It really made me think about all of us going through this at the same time looking out for each other.  Don’t get me wrong I am a realist I know the silence won’t last and there will be times you hear load noises or someone turns up a TV or movie and I can hear it but it is not crazy here that is for sure.

                I plan on being honest on this blog and truthful, so even though I am very thankful for the room I have at first I was kind of appalled, and wondered how I was supposed to live here for a year, and make this a home.  My mind again goes to those in even worse situations than me.  What are we putting our soldiers through and how much are they giving up so that most of us can sit at home in our comfortable chair or sleep in our comfortable bed, and not worry about being attacked while we sleep, or on our way to work.  Honestly some of the homeless shelters I have seen in America have a better quality of living than our soldiers fighting for our country down here.  And that is not because of the Military or the US, but simply because that is the situation where we are.  Running water for showers and a bathroom is a luxury and one that I will gladly give up to defend freedom so that others can have that, but that would be a struggle I will say.  Even with the running water, it is not potable so we still have to use bottled water for drinking and brushing teeth and all that.  So life here in my 6 by 6 room will be an adjustment and one that I am sure I will struggle with at times but every place is what you make it and I plan on making this the best home it can be for this year.

KIA and finally arriving at Camp Phoenix

          So in the previous post I told you I would tell you more about KIA, Kabul International Airport, hmmm international is a questionable title, I’m not sure if that is just because so many people from other nations coming through there are what.  It is a very small one building one or two runway airport.  As far as I can tell it is mostly military ran as well.  We landed in the helicopter and made our way into the terminal, with a lot of assistance from the other passengers.  Then there we were again, thinking, “ok, what next.”  Once inside my card was scanned to show that I had been there, and then we were left to fend for ourselves, to try and figure out how to get from KIA to Camp Phoenix.  The Soldier inside point us to a phone we could use to call for a ride, which I’m sure to someone who had a unit would have been helpful.  Who were my partner and I suppose to call, we didn’t know anyone at Camp Phoenix, heck we didn’t know anyone in Kabul.  This is not just a simple jaunt down the road.  While we were at the phone calling some numbers that were hanging by the phone, a PFC (private first class) came to use the phone as well, he too needed to make it to a different location.  He called his SGT, who gave him some additional numbers to call, none of which were working.  So I decided to take matters into my own hands.  I talked to a couple of other Soldiers who were working there and then I went outside to see where other newly arriving passengers were going.  My co-worker and the PFC continued to try and reach someone at the other end of the phone.

I lugged our baggage to a holding area, and began asking those around were they were going.  Here is were sometimes there is a benefit to being an outgoing female, people were willing to talk to me.  I found two civilian contractors who were preparing to go to Camp Phoenix, representatives from their companies were on their way to pick them up.  They did not know if there would be space but they were willing to check when their ride arrived.  I then watched two approaching vehicles drop off a group of soldiers with all their baggage.  I thought to myself “hmm…those vehicles have to be returning someplace,”  So I asked them where they were going, just my luck, they were headed back to Camp Phoenix, and they were willing to give us a ride.  Finally, we would get to where we were supposed to be.  Myself and one of the drivers loaded the baggage into the vehicles, I went and got my co-worker and the PFC that we now had “adopted” and we were off to our next location, this time by small convoy.  

                Now this too was an experience and one that I couldn’t take pictures of, I was in the back of a bulletproof truck with only a very small window for me to see out of, but I could see enough and the village was exactly what I had been told it would look like.  The houses, if you can call them that were quickly thrown together structures and tents people were gathered at the side of the roads talking and watching those who passed.  There were a lot more vehicles then I had expected, although I shouldn’t be surprised Kabul is a big city.  This was the first time I kind of had some apparitions.  We are trained over and over again about things that are suspect, things to look out for, with regard to hostile people and questionable situations.  Driving down the road I saw them all, and trust me there are moments you wonder if the way that man is staring at us and hiding his arms does he have a weapon?  Or the guy on the side of the road seemingly randomly digging a whole is that to later hide an IED?  These thoughts continued to go through my head as we drove through the city, with the spotter and the driver vigilantly watching for any threats.  There were talking myself and the PFC through what would to do if we take fire, and what to do if the truck stops.  Me with my measly 9mm and the PFC unarmed, I did wonder what would happen.  Funny thing was my thoughts were not about the danger I might be in or what might happen to me, but on those people who go out in this almost every day, who are really a target or have a real threat.  What it must be like to have to constantly think like that and to always worry.  I am every more grateful for them and their act of bravery and courage they have to do that.  They are the ones out there trying to keep the city safe, try to find those who are terrorizing the US and Afghanistan and I again am reminded how lucky I am to get to help serve them.

Trying to get to Kabul

                So, Bagram wasn’t my final destination, I was destined for Camp Phoenix in Kabul and we were going to figure out a way to get there.  Like I said in the earlier post the paralegal and I had scheduled a flight for me for Friday and from the looks of things that was the earliest military flight (again a cargo plane) we would be able to make.  At this point the guy I am going to be working with was also trying to get to Camp as well.  We had all of our luggage, about 7 bags total between the two of us.  This was a lot of luggage to lug around.  We also didn’t want to wait around until Friday to get to camp, that would be several days of sleeping on hard floors and being in the way of those in the office trying to conduct business.  So we decided to look for other options, at least now I had a traveling partner.  The paralegal made some phone calls and we found out there was a rotary route (helicopter) that went to KIA (Kabul international airport), more on the airport in a later post, they informed her that there should be some space on the black hawk including baggage but it would be tight.  We also, through talking with some people whom I met at the CRC, found a convoy that was going to another camp in Kabul which would get us one step closer to where we needed to be.  However, the convoy was filling up and they weren’t sure there would be enough spots, and the problem was we had a maybe on both situation and they both kicked off at the same time so we had to figure out which one we were going to gamble on.

                We decided the black hawk, which ended up being a good choice, a couple days later I ran into one of the guys from CRC who was suppose to be on the convoy and he had been kicked off because it was too crowded.  So we went to the rotary terminal and put our names on the list for space A (space available) seating on the black hawk.  There were 4 other people on the same list and we were concerned with all the luggage there may not be room but, fate was working in our favor and we made it on to the helicopter.  Let me tell you with 6 extra people and 7 or 8 bags things were tight in that black hawk, but what a way to fly.  It was amazing to look around and see the other helicopter we were flying with and see the mountains and the towns below.  It was also intimidating when you see the large machine gun loaded and ever vigilant pointed out the side, but, still an amazing ride. 

                 I should go back for a moment and fill in a hole that I left.  As an officer we were issued a 9mm at the CRC, however for whatever reason they didn’t not issue us any magazines nor obviously did we get any ammo,  this made it difficult when I got to Bagram and I am told that we are suppose to be loaded.  So after some scrounging the guy I was working with let me borrow one of his extra magazines.  It is very different to walk around everywhere you go with a loaded weapon at your side, or to look around and see people walking around with a loaded M16 carrying on casual conversations like it is no big deal.  I don’t feel uncomfortable, it is just different, weird.  As I sit here typing with a holster on my belt,  my weapon at my side, I find myself already, after only a few days, checking for it, I can only imagine when I get home and no longer have it.  I go to dinner and have my weapon, I wake up in the morning and just as if it were my boots or my pants I put my weapon on my belt.  It is a unique situation.

                But, I digress, the black hawk lands at KIA and the nice part about the military is no matter rank or even country of service everyone is willing to help out, so everyone on the helicopter kindly grabbed a bag and helped my partner and I carry them to the door of the airport.  We had made it to Kabul, now what?

Bagram

                I’m in Afghanistan, I have made it to the location of the new headquarters for Trail Defense Service office Centcom, (they just recently moved here from Iraq).  Here is where I would meet some of the people I will be working with for the next few months/year (depending on when they are redeploying).  It was later in the evening when I got in and I have a couple numbers to call and try and reach people who were to help me with the next leg of the trip.  However, getting off the flight was, in my opinion, a very disorganized affair.  We’ve been doing this for over nine years shouldn’t this be like clockwork?  Anyway, we filed off the flight and down toward the “terminal”  it is cold and there is a lot of noise going on outside but this is where the Air force Sergeant decided was the best place to try and yell information at us.  It wasn’t working very well.  Eventually we figured out that he needed all of our ID cards so they could scan them in, then we were pretty much on your own as to what to do next, he was no help.  So the SGT took our ID’s and scan us in at the base, however this wasn’t helpful with regards to what else we were suppose to do, and it didn’t help us all standing out in the cold waiting for him to bring a stack of over 100 ID Cards back out and pass them out to everyone.  So we found the cargo fright with our baggage on it, I got mine off and went to another area outside with some concrete barriers and set my baggage down.  I then decided to find a DSN phone (again I don’t know what it stands for but it is the military phone system) and try and get in touch with someone from the TDS office there.

                Ah, another person…So I found a phone after having to ask a few people and getting directed to a few different places and I called the TDS office where coincidently the new Senior Defense Counsel I would be working for answered the phone.  He too was stuck in Bagram and trying to figure out how to make it to Kabul.  There was also another CPT from a different office in Afghanistan there who was also trapped in Bargram and had been trying to fly out for three days but flights to his base continued to get cancelled.  (Things are not looking good for me right now)  It was nice though they were able to borrow a vehicle for the main SJA office on base and drove the couple blocks to come and pick me and my baggage up.  That night a slept at the TDS office and would figure out in the morning what my next step was going to be.



My bed



                So my first night in Afghanistan,  at a new place, with new people.  I made it to the midnight chow time at the DFAC, and got some dinner/breakfast, or whatever meal you want to call that.  Then I cleaned up, luckily the bathrooms were only across the street from the JAG office, I got online quickly to let family know that I had made it that far and off to bed I went.  Where did I sleep you ask?  On the hardwood floor of one of the offices in TDS, I used the poncho liner I brought as my blanket and for a pillow I had my backpack (it was pretty hard) and my fleece wadded up, until it got to cold and I had to put it on to help stay warm.  But honestly after the few exhausting days and the lack of sleep I was running on, it was actually alright sleep, I can’t say it was good, honestly I can’t say I’ve had good sleep since I left home but it was better than I had up to that point, even on the dirty hard wood floor.    

                So the next morning I woke up with only a slight idea of where everything was, but I was the only one up.  The other two guys who also slept in the office that night (all different offices) were still asleep.  So I got my toiletries together and went to the bathhouse and cleaned up, I think decided to make my way back to the DFAC, assuming I could find it, for some breakfast.  I found it and had a little bit to eat.  By the time I got back to the TDS office some of the other JAGs and paralegals who worked there had begun to arrive.  I finally was able to meet them and talk with them in person and not just over email.  But, they had clients coming in and they had been in their routine for a while, not use to new people coming in so I was still kind of on my own.  The wonderful paralegal there did help me start to figure out how to get to Kabul.  The problem was that the earliest it looked like it was going to be possible was Friday, which as I write this is today.  Seems like forever ago that we were looking at travel.  Anyway, after that I talked with a couple of the people then I just kind of felt in the way, so I decided to go and try and find one of my friends who was on base there with the main SJA office to help and show me around.  She was much more understanding of being in a new place and alone. 

                Ah, help!  She was very helpful, she came out of her office, luckily it was her morning off she just happened to stop by to take care of a few things, and so she was able to walk around with me and show me the PX.  We stopped in and I got a second blanket and a pillow so that I wouldn’t have to scrounge again if I was going to be trapped on a wood floor for a while.  We also went for coffee, yes they have coffee shops at almost all the FOBs (forward operating bases).  While we were there we ran into a classmate of ours from the JAG school.  It was interesting hearing them talk, and a bit unnerving too.  I have constantly looked at this as an adventure, and I truly believe everyplace you are is what you make it.  Don’t get me wrong there are good things and then there are some really bad places and things, but it is all about what you do with it that makes your time good or bad.  All I can say is it is going to be difficult, but I am going to keep a positive attitude about being here.  I really and truly know this is where I am called to be right now.  But I want to keep that attitude and I know it is not going to be easy, this is not paradise that is for sure, but I have a lot to look forward to.  Plenty of time to spend in the gym, my goal is to be in great running shape by the time I leave, regimented meals so I get use to only eating at certain times instead of whenever I want and how many times I want, and a lot of walking from place to place, I have gotten lazy, getting in my car for a short time rather than just putting on my tennis shoes and walking there.  I am going to be a stronger person after this and a better person for this.

                Nevertheless, back to the story, I couldn’t be more thankful for that my classmate was there, she was a huge comfort and blessing and very helpful.  She really told me what to expect and how to cope with certain things, and as she stated, women here really have to stick together because there are a lot fewer of us.  I’m glad she was around.

Leaving Kuwait and Getting to Bagram

                So up to this point in my journey I was doing this all with a group, we were all heading to the same place, Kuwait.  Now we are all going different directions, different places and leaving at different times.  The nervousness of being alone and not knowing anyone has started to hit me again.  My mind is running through all of the “oh my goodness what have a gotten myself into.”  I don’t know why, I think it is the peace I have that I am doing the right thing, but I never worried about coming to Afghanistan--the war zone, I worried about coming to Afghanistan--the new place where I have to meet all new people and I don’t have anyone I know to help ease me into it.  But whatever the case I was nervous again, what if I didn’t follow direction right, what if something happened and I missed my flight, how am I suppose to carry my stuff all by myself while wondering around looking for the right buildings (by the way, the term building is a loose term in this blog and often is referring to tents, or metal storage containers turned into a building).  But as always took a deep breath and move forward one foot in front of the other.

                Monday  the 14^th of February came around, two nights spent in Kuwait on a couch in the MWR, and I was ready to get on my flight, keeping my fingers crossed that I would make the flight.  I had been checking on a regular basis and the flight booking people continued to tell me I was manifested for the flight.  Trust me though I wasn’t convinced that I would make the flight nor did I take much stock in what they told me.  I was nervous, “what if I didn’t get on this flight, how much longer would I be here?”  these worries kept going through my head.  So the time came to check in, officially, and I did, I was the first one to check in, and the guy behind the counter says, “ok, well we will have to see, I have a lot of LASOs (I don’t know what that means) and the APRS (again no clue) might get kicked off this flight then you will have to go to the back of the waiting list for flight.”  Dread ran across my face, “Excuse me, I have been waiting for two days with a reserved flight.”  Remember earlier I told you all about those people with priority, apparently an LASO is a unit and the unit has priority over the rest of us.  YIKES!!!!   But a ray of hope came shining through in the form of another guy at the counter, he told the other guy to check me in because all the LASOs might not show.  Ok so here I am, I am at least possibly on this flight, and the waiting begins.

                About an hour later, I have all my bags in the little tent and others are checking in and waiting to see if they are called to be on the flight as well.  This flight ends up having a lot of additional room so several people who were at the CRC with me made this flight.  See, you have to understand, these flights are provided by the air force on their cargo flights, if they are not fully of cargo they stick seats on the plan and we cram in the cargo bay and ride to our destination.  You never know if there will be seats or not until the flights land and cargo is unloaded and loaded.  So here we are, waiting.  Everyone checked in and we went outside for our briefing and the guy called off the names on the manifest.  Guess what my name wasn’t called, “What, I was the first to check in, I was originally scheduled for the flight not even as a space A flyer but as an actual reserved flyer, an APRS or whatever acronym they gave me.  I was told multiple times (I was nervous I checked several times) that I was good to go.”  So I calmly walked up to the gentleman who had been calling the names and he looked down at me and had immediate recognition that he or someone has messed up.  So myself and 5 other people followed him back into the tent.  As we walked into the tent the man who had originally checked me in, says “she is good, you are good (pointing at me), why is she not on the flight.”  I don’t know what they did, or who got kicked off the flight, but I made this flight finally!!!

                This is where I thought I would start getting nervous, this was it, flight into Afghanistan, but I didn’t, I just put on my IOTV (Improved outer tactical vest, or something like that.  Give me a break there are a lot of acronyms in the army), and my Kevlar (the helmet ) and started on the journey to board the cargo plane.  This flight is a little over an hour long, and we are squeezed, and I do mean squeezed, into a small seat wearing an extra almost 40 lbs of gear with the vest and helmet, and we have to hold our carryon bag in our lap.  And I was a lucky one because I got two rather large contractors on either side of me as well, space was tight.  So what did I do to make the time pass?  I went to sleep, only waking up as we were descending into our destination.  And here I was in Afghanistan, and yet my journey has just begun. 

Oh, that travel was on Valentine’s day, huh, I almost forgot…kind of nice not being blasted with all the hearts and love and stuff, being single and all.

This is a Small Army

                Ok, so since I joined the Army over three years ago, I have constantly been asked if I have relatives in the army, the answer from me is always “no, not that I know of.”  Blackburn, although not a Smith or a Jones, is a kind of common name.  They always so, “oh, cause I know a COL Blackburn, I worked with him….”  I have always just brushed it off, like I said it is a common last name.  But after several times being asked the same question, and it always being directly related to COL Blackburn, I did start to get a little curious.  Here is the deal when you are a young officer, often times people wonder why you joined the army, usually they assume you did it for the college money (I didn’t get any of that) or because you have a father or close relative in the army and therefore it was expected of you.  I have neither, that sometimes shocks people.  So anyway, I started to get curious about this COL Blackburn, there are several Blackburn’s in the army, a simple look on Global (the email contact list for the army) tells you this.  However there are not very many Colonels, in fact I only have seen one, but that doesn’t mean there are not more.  It became funny to me when people would ask, because for whatever reason it was always about COL Blackburn, not the other CPT Blackburn, or the SSG Blackburn (who I did run into one time at Fort Leonard Wood).  I started over the last couple years to adjust my answer to, well I don’t think we are related but I guess anything is possible.

                Ok, Ok, so you are probably going well we all see where this is going and you are right, I finally after three years ended up running into COL Blackburn.  While in Kuwait as I stated in an earlier post we were waiting for flights and you basically had to wait at every flight going to your destination, with all your bags ready to go, hoping your name would be called.  So I was at the tent where they were calling names, I was sitting outside on a concrete barrier, I knew my name wasn’t going to be called but I was waiting on a couple of friends to go grab dinner afterwards.  Anyway, there was some room behind me and someone walked up and put down some bags, in the process he kind of nudged me and apologized, I didn’t really look at him simply said “no worries it is tight quarters” and smiled.  The Soldier went inside, a few minutes later my friends came up and said “well didn’t you get all fancy.”  I turned around and gave a very questioning look, I had no idea what they was talking about.  The guy was like “Your bags you printed….” His voice trailed off because I look behind me and sure enough the bags that were dropped off behind me were marked very clearly in sewn labels for a COL Blackburn.  I chuckled to myself and though wow, what a small world, or really a small army.  So while my friends went inside to see if they had made this flight I waited outside until COL Blackburn came out to collect his baggage and then I introduced myself.

                Ok so after writing all that I realize maybe it isn’t as interesting as I thought it was, but hey if you were asked if you were related to someone for three years and then all of a sudden halfway around the world finally met them, that is a little interesting right?

Kuwait

                Now this is where a lot of people come from the states to go to their deployment location, people leaving and returning from theater come, both Iraq and Afghanistan.   People are leaving for and returning from R and R, there are those going and coming from emergency leave, and TDY.  Then there are those of us who are individual deployers (no unit) that are coming into theater for the first time.  People are going everywhere, some have priority due to rank or assignment, some just based on someone saying they have priority and then there are the rest of us who are fighting in a line of space available fliers, waiting each flight hoping that our name is called so that we can get to our next location.  Honestly this area is a bit disorganized in my opinion, there is no rhyme or reason to how they do things, obviously they can’t share all travel times and such because they don’t want the planes to become easy targets but as soldiers we were just wandered around hoping to catch a flight, I was lucky on only had to spend two nights (three days), several of the people from our group were there 4 and 5 nights waiting on flights to their next location. 

This is also tent city, there are only a few trailers here most everything else is in tents.  There is a gym and a DFAC (dining facility), there is also a McDonalds, KFC, and Pizza Hut, as well as many other enmities.  (trust me there is more stuff in Kuwait at the transient camp then there is on Camp Phoenix where I am currently.  When we got off the plane it was kind of a mess, mostly because I was trying to follow the directions I was given  by TDS (Trial Defense Service) leadership which was slightly different then the information the Soldiers at the camp were giving us.  First I guess I should back up a bit, We got of the plane in Kuwait and were ushered to busses where we got on and had to travel with the window currents pulled you would think this would have began to make things real and frighten me, but it didn’t.  I just knew that was the way things had to be.  I was a lucky one and my boss had previously put me on the list for a flight.  This was not a guarantee that I wouldn’t get bumped but it did mean that I was on a flight assuming that others with priority didn’t bump me.  I ended up making that flight, therefore only having to stay the 2 nights as I stated earlier.

So my two days in Kuwait I spent mostly in the MWR tents, these are the tents set up to provide some entertainment for the Soldiers.  I watched a lot of movies, in fact I watched Yogi Bear three times I think.  It was the place with the most comfortable seating, which trust me is few and far between.  If you can find a good couch you take it and you don’t get up.  I was lucky and had a partner in crime so if I had to go to the bathroom he was there and  vice versa.  That is one thing I truly miss…comfortable seating and bedding.  Kuwait was sandy, that is about what I can say about it.  Sadly I didn’t take any pictures there, I think I was too tired and kind of overwhelmed but don’t worry I have to go back through there and I will take pictures then.