Being Sick and Away is Not Much Fun

                When I am sick all I want to do is to be able to curl up in my bed, and lay and watch movies and have someone to whine to and someone to take care of me.  Too bad that hasn’t happened in several years but someone has always been a phone call away and I have always been surrounded by good friends who bring me Sprite and crackers or dinner or whatever I might need or want.  Here that is a totally different ball game. 

                Since getting to Afghanistan my  body has been doing some adjusting, my nose has been running a bit more and I have been coughing some, and it is a bit harder to breathe when working out.  All things that I expected, with the higher altitude and also the smog here.  But over the last couple days things were not getting better they were getting worse.  In fact one day I was in the gym and I was not feeling right at all, I did some sit-ups and push-ups and I went to run on the treadmill and my body did not feel right so I got off and went and sat on some benches for a while.  I thought the feeling would pass but when it didn’t I decided to call it a night and head back to my room.   When I got outside things did not get much better.  For one there are a lot of smells here, not so great smells and when your stomach is already upset trust me everything is about 100 times worse.  I only made it about 50 yards before I had to stop because I couldn’t walk any further.  Sure enough I got sick.  Uck!!!  So I stayed there for a minute but knew that I needed to get back toward my room.  Slowly, very slowly, stopping several times I made it back to my room, and when I opened the door to my hall I knew I couldn’t stay there very long.

                The hall that I live on has a very strong chemical odor, I think it is partially what they use to clean with and partially what they use to help keep the water clean, it is not a very good smell at all.  Even on good days for me that odor catches me off guard and usually makes me pause at the door for a moment.  This night I knew I wasn’t ready so I walked straight through the hall and out the back and I set out back  away from people until I felt like everything was completely done, like I could brave the hallway inside.   I came back into my room I layed on my bed and I did cry a little.  Because I didn’t feel well and I couldn’t do anything about it.  For the next couple days I took it easy, a nice perk of being here as TDS, and not having an office yet.  I slept a little later and I didn’t rush to get ready in the morning.  I also haven’t gone to the gym for a couple days to try and let my body rest (something I know that I will feel when I start again).  But I think my body is on the mend, slowly, not a quickly as I would like or as I think I normally get better but I know my body is still adjusting.

                I so just wanted to stay in bed and lie there then when I wanted to roll out, I wanted to get what I wanted to eat, whether that was a grilled cheese sandwich, or pasta with some parmesan cheese, or chicken noodle soup, whenever I wanted.  I couldn’t do that though because the place to get food has certain hours for cooking and certain menus each days, each meal.  It’s not like home. 

                Honestly though, I just kept thinking this sucks, being alone and no one checking on me to make sure I’m alright or see if I need anything.  And at night when I am lying alone in my bed I get a little sad.  But I couldn’t help thinking, I’ve been doing this for a while, the whole by myself thing, what about those that haven’t.  There are people who are here and it is their first time away from home, their first time not being taken care of and they are sleeping in a tent, with 50 other soldiers.  Man am I lucky!  Super lucky that when I am vulnerable and tired that I have my own room I can curl up in and be a little sad in.  So many don’t have that, and they have to suffer in silence.  They don’t have the luxury of calling home and just saying mom I don’t feel good and spending a while on the phone their mom telling them everything will be ok and just stay in bed for a couple days and take it easy.  Wow, it stinks to be sick in another country far away from the conveniences of home and the ability to call in sick and get the food you want to eat when you want to eat it.  But man I am so lucky, cause for me it is pretty easy here relative to where I am and others around me.  I thank God for that even in my sickness.