Man did I need a break!

What a difference a couple weeks can make! I am so thankful for this r and r, I know I am saying this and I haven't even made all my travels back to my base in Afghanistan but I already feel a million times better, even if I am not looking forward to returning and have g to work.

While I was traveling I had high hopes of blogging about my travels and adventures but honestly I was so into just seeing the sights as well as relaxing that I didn't make the time. I read books and shopped and saw the sights I also enjoyed time with my family and my friend Amy.













Before I left my stomach was so messed up, I couldn't really eat, and things didn't digest well it was constantly in knots really is the best way to explain it. Even the first day of my r and r I was so stressed and worried and spun up about everything that I couldn't really enjoy not being in Afghanistan. Then I reminded myself that I wasn't in Afghanistan, and that I was away from all the mess that had occurred and was coming to a close as I was leaving. I reminded myself that I had a chance to walk away and leave it all behind for a couple weeks, and aside from a few emails that had to be sent that is exactly what I did.






I don't know if I can do all that good of a job describing what it is like after being I a war zone for over 6 months then walking away for a while, but I will try. I know I described some of this in a previous post but I am going to try and expand on it some.

First off it is a lot of the small things that really excited me. I didn't realize how much I really missed green grass and animals, and seeing kids playing and laughing. Although I could do with out the screaming kids on the plane. I saw trees and clean (for the most part) rivers and water ways and that was so nice. The last few days of my trip I sent hanging out with my friend who is station in Europe and the place she is staying had a pool so I spend three days just laying by the pool and enjoying jumping in or sticking my feet in and reading a book. It was honestly the small things, although don't get me wrong the big sights were pretty amazing too.







It was so nice to be around people who knew me before the deployment people that I wasn't meeting for the first time, I was able to spend time with my sisters who know me and my faults and just, for the most part, let me be me. Awe, finally some relaxation and the knots in my stomach started to come untied. I didn't have to worry about much of anything and it was so nice. I could just be me!

But that didn't mean it was always easy,there is still an adjustment, and I can believe even more of one if I had gone home instead of on a trip. First off I haven't had a whole lot of choice when it came to food each week our menu is basically the same, so I kind of forgot I could try new things. I know that sound strange but when you are forced in a rut it was difficult to kind of remind myself to not order a basic or a staple. Man though did I have some good food, I'm gonna miss the food.





I also kind of forgot what it was like to talk to people not about Afghanistan or life in Afghanistan. It was different for people not to look at me and know I am in the army or even that I am American. (often people would start speaking their native language and I would just act like I got what they were saying). It was also different being thrown back into civilian society with rude people who shove you and beg for money and get violent when you don't give them any. Dealing with people who feel entitled just because of who they are and have done nothing to earn it. It was different.

When my sisters were going to go through security and I began my long day at the airport waiting for my flight I was over come with a since of loneliness and homesickness that I haven't felt since really my first week in Afghanistan. I wanted nothing more than to get on the plane with them and go home to put this deployment behind me and move on. I missed them dearly in a way I hadn't missed them in several years. They were my connection to normal (because deployed life is far from normal everyday life). They were leaving to go on with their life and I felt like I was getting closer to going back to putting my life on hold again. Stopping everything again for the next 6 months.

Don't get me wrong the second part of my trip spending it with Amy was great and honestly something that I think helped a great deal transitioning back to deployment. But that is how I was feeling when they left. It was a terrible feeling.

I think that is enough for now but I will continue to update sharing stories from my trip as well as continued journeys of my deployment. Everyday I am learning knew things about myself and I am growing in respect for those that have families and children that they leave behind to serve their country.

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First part of my r and r

Wow, what a needed break! Having some time in civilization traveling away from green uniforms and weapons is nice. People aren't always on high alert and it is nice to just sit in a cafe and relax and take as long as I want eating and just sitting there. It has also been nice to put on civilian cloths and look like a real girl. I've done a little shopping too, I had to I put on my clothes that I had for the trip and they we're all too big. It was a good problem to have though, I'm not complaining.



We have honestly just toured around seen different sights and over all had a great time. Of course anytime you get the three of us together two things are guaranteed, we will laugh a lot, and we will fight some. We did both, but the fighting wasn't bad and it was over quickly.

It is different taking a trip like this in the middle of serving in afghanistan, I mean seeing things like grass and trees has been great, seeing buildings with color rather than the drab beige that we have is beautiful, and kids playing and people walking their dogs is something I didn't know that I missed but I did.



One of the hardest parts about this trip for me was, this was for my sisters, a trip away from their families and kids so they talked about missing them and being sad and there were tears for them. What I'm not sure they understood completely was this was my trip with my family so it was some times difficult but not bad by any means just a different understanding at times.


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Location:Europe

Meeting up with my sisters

So yesterday my sisters flew in to meet me which was good because they day that I got into country was not necessarily the best so I was very happy to see them.

I flew in to Paris and got on a train to get to near the airport my sisters we're going to fly into. When I got into town it was crowded and crazy, there were a ton of people wondering around and the sky was about to open up into rain. I decided to go to the tourist information building because I thought they would be able to help me get someplace to stay and tell me how to get around. Man was I wrong. The tourist lady that I went to (I had to pick a number and wait to be called to the counter) was not helpful at all and all she wanted. To do was get on to the next person. I asked her about helping me get a room for the night, I had just seen her place a call for the family in front of me and get them a room. But she told me she couldn't do it, I needed to call myself. When I asked her were I needed to go to call she said outside you can find a phone. Then I said well how would I get to this place (the hotel we were going to stay the next night) where would I go. Her response well it tells you on that paper there. Needless to say she was not very helpful.

So I went outside and went to the phones it started pouring down rain and I couldn't get the phone to work, there were two that took some sort of card and two that should have taken euros, but the money one would not take my money. So soaking wet I walked back in and went straight to another counter, I wasn't going to take a number for that kind of service. I asked the new woman about what I needed to do to make a call and she told me were to go to get a phone call, I then made it very clear to her that I didn't think they should have the woman at the end help tourist because at this point all I wanted to do was leave the city if that is how helpful the people who get paid to be helpful are.




I did take a picture of myself on the train,

Anyway, I went finally got a phone card to use the phone but the number I had didn't work, so I decided to just follow the dictions to the place and ask if they had any beds available. However the directions on the sheet were wrong so I spent almost 2 hours riding trams and walking the streets of Amsterdam before a nice local helped me find the right direction, but it didn't really matter there were no rooms. I was not having a good day and so I decided to take the train back to the airport and just go find any hotel I could. There was a room in the airport hotel so I paid way too much and just hung out there. I did go to the hotel bar and didn't have to pay a single thing for a few beers. That was nice. All in all though things got better after that. My sisters are here now and I will post more pictures and stories as we go. But my sister is also doing a blog http://mystuffytravels.blogspot.com


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Location:Europe

Traveling can even help you find things

I have arrived in Paris, after three airports and a bus ride I Amin Europe and although getting around on my own is interesting I am figuring it out.



This is by far the most unique way to go on vacation, a helicopter ride a c17 cargo plan, a bus ride and two commercial airlines just to get to Europe and now a train ride to meet up with my sisters in the morning. Plus figuring out where I am going to stay tonight, yikes! But it is excitement and fun that is well worth it, so long as I don't get too lost haha. Oh yeah add on there the first time I have worn real civilian clothes in over six months, I forgot wasn't wearing a button fly the last three times I have gone to the bathroom. But it is fun I wouldn't trade and much needed.

Already I am figuring out that traveling around a lone isn't so bad (although it is harder to take pictures of yourself, but that's ok because I am still pretty nasty from my travels so I don't need pictures just yet.

Traveling is good for other things as well, like finding sd cards that have been lost for months. I assumed they were gone for good but they were just in my wallet change purse which I haven't opened in months either. It is great to have them since I plan on taking lost of pictures. All in all a pretty successful beginning and now the real adventures begin, me trying to maneuver the train stations.


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Location:Paris, France

My load is a lot lighter without an extra 35 lbs

Today I started my journey for r and r, and trust me this vacation is much needed. It started out with me suppose to have a flight at 1400 or there about but when I got to the office and we checked the flights that helicopter had been cancelled. Needless to say I wasn't all that happy, I wondered how I would get to bagram to fly out. But, luckily I went and checked the flights coming in and leaving, there was one coming to take one of the generals out so I checked with his staff to try and get on it and they took putty on me and gave me a ride. I got to Kuwait in record time it is normally a two day ordeal but this time I got here in about 12 hours.

The different part about this travel from all the others is once I got to bagram I could leave my weapon and my vest so I'm not carrying that around. It is different weird almost to be walking around so "light". I go out to walk around and I feel like I have forgotten something. For six months every day I have had a 9mm strapped to me so to walk around or get up in the morning and not pick it up is different, something to get use to. It is a nice break though, because it is a lot of responsibility as well as the vest being a lot of extra weight to lug around everywhere.



Honestly though this start to r and r has helped me drop more than just physical loads to carry. This is the frost vacation since I joined the army that i didn't bring any work with me, that doesn't mean that I won't probably get an email or two but I did not set out to bring any with me, it is refreshing and honestly a bit weird feeling. Also it is a huge stress reliever just walking away with a backpack And nothing else. Knowing that I can just take a break. It is funny because no matter how stressful or unstressful your job is, being here for so long and having no escape is wearing. I never would have imagined it to be that way, but no weekends away, no going home and just relaxing it is exhausting. Not to mention when you put a large number of people in a very small space there is drama, because others want to believe that they know everything that is going on in your life even when they know nothing.

So all that to say I completely understand the need for r and r and I am going to live this r and r up to the fullest.


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Location:Afgahnistan

Something's just make you stop and reflect.

I write about my travels some here, heck the last post was all about them, but mostly it is how I am annoyed or where I have to sleep. I try and stay away about my thoughts about actually traveling, partially because I don't want people to think I am one of the soldiers who goes out and gets in fire fights, but I am also not a soldier who only sits behind my desk at my one FOB and never leaves, I have seen at least a few different places. Lately I have been traveling more regularly. The first time I went "outside the wire," that is the military term for when you leave a camp or FOB, I was extremely nervous, I didn't know what to expect. Really every time I go out I get more vigilant but the nervousness has really passed.

It is a different experience, traveling, especially for me because I am relying on others to get me around since I don't have a unit or a movement team. Therefore when I go out I am putting my trust in people I don't know anything about, good thing with things like that I am a pretty trusting person. But mostly, it comes down to having a peace about being here. If God brought me to it he'll bring me through it some how. Some people see this as naive I think because they don't understand how I don't worry about traveling. I'm not naive to the safety risks I'm just at peace about them. (funny I worry about everything else but I don't worry about the big stuff).

I had just returned from a board not long before hearing about the helicopter that was shot down and killed 31 people over here. I remember being shocked and saddened for the loss of life, as much as it is expected over here it is never something you want to hear about especially that many people. I'll be honest most of my information comes from the news or what others tell they they have read or seen so I don't fully know where they were going or what they were doing but most likely they were going to assist others who were in a fire fight. Which are not the type of helicopter rides I am getting on but still it gave me pause. Especially because only about three days later I was suppose to be out again, traveling via helicopter to the same region I was going to, very near the same area.

For the first time in a while I was actually nervous to travel, it didn't help that it became more difficult to get a ride down because a couple of the stopped sending their birds down there until the investigation was complete. They weren't flying those routes because they didn't know what happened. It really made me stop for a bit and think do I really want to work to get down there of our choppers aren't even flying down there. They quickly resumed routes but still it gave me pause for some concern.

But I thought about it and reminded myself that I am here to do a job a job where sometimes I am one of the only people who shows a soldier that someone cares and it is one that I feel is where I am suppose to be in. And I remembered all things are under God's control and his plan. Obviously I made it there and back and have even been on two other trips since then and every time I remind myself it is all in His control.


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Location:Afghanistan

Sleeping while I travel

I knows that I have talked about my travels before and will continue to type about them. Some will probably me more superficial posts and others more in-depth or deeper in thought at least. But I guess that is what this blog is all about right, what it is really like being over here from my perspective.

I do end up traveling a lot mostly because of the large area that myself and another attorney cover as well as the fact that you can't really control where people commit crimes, so I have become pretty comfortable getting from place to place, but, it never makes it easy or what I would call fun. Between convoys, helicopters and fix wing air craft, sleeping outside of military air terminals, and getting up at 0200 in order to walk with all my gear up to a mile in order to catch a flight it is exhausting and never something I really look forward to. The vest and helmet alone that I have to take and wear with me while traveling add at least an additional 35 lbs to my load, not to mention that I have to carry bedding with me. I am learning to travel light and I keep getting better at it.

I think though the worst part of travel is never know where you are going to sleep. I have slept on office floors, in single rooms that are reall just a big tent with plywood walls that don't go all the way up. Ihave slept in small three/four man rooms and then I have slept in tents housing over 100 soldiers. I well say this it makes me appreciate the room and accommodations I have here.






The worst is that I have found people, well at least the females, are not all so respectful of each other. I like music with the best of them but I always carry headphones with me, others are not so nice and late at night will blast their music regardless of who is around. Or they wake up in the morning and have no respect for others that don't have to get up as early as they do, and make noise and shine there lights all over with no consideration. Needless to say the amount of exhaustion increases dramatically when mixed with lack of sleep.



But on a positive note, I am learning to function on minimal sleep as well as learning to sleep in a variety of surroundings and noises. Other good things about traveling is that is does make me appreciate the accommodation I have at the camp I am at. Also i get to see a variety of things, and talk to a variety of people. Plus the more I travel the more familiar I become with the pilots and they watch out for me. The other day I was waiting for a flight and while there a crew chief came in to the terminal and said he was going to a FOB, I made a joke asking if they wanted to drop me off on the way. He laughed and the walked back out to the helicopter then about 5 minutes later he came back and said come on will drop you off. So all in all I can't complain a lot about travel but it is not the most fun part of my job.

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Location:Afghanistan