Starting to feel the deployment

So the last couple of weeks I have been in a funk, not depressed or down but just in a funk, a feeling that is hard to explain.  I have been getting into a groove with work well work because that is pretty much it, I guess working out too.  I have started to get my room, however small, to start feeling more like a home.  I still don’t sleep very well on account of the extremely uncomfortable bed, but even that is getting better (and hopefully the mattress topper I ordered will be here soon).  But I think that routine and lack of things to do has gotten me into a funk and I need to get out of it.  This funk, I am sure, is self-induced.  I stopped going to the gym for a while, partially because it was just one more thing I did by myself and partially because I was going into this funk I think.  And then I was in a holding pattern of getting up exhausted from a terrible night’s sleep, going to work not having a lot to do, eating lunch, then work, then dinner, then back to my room to watch some TV (well, really watch TV shows or movies).  Don’t get me wrong I enjoy some good movies thanks to some great people both here and back home I have a hard drive full and another one almost full of TV series and or movies.  Plus it doesn’t help that I eat the same things every week, I love food, and I love my staples but I also enjoy a variety every once in a while and that just doesn’t happen here.  That has been wearing on me.  But I am working on getting out of this funk.

First off, I am back in the gym and being typical me I have found some people to help me stay motivated.  One of the guys is leaving next week which stinks but the other will be here through Oct hopefully, and I’ll keep looking for others to help in this endeavor.  I am setting goals for myself.  I want to be in really great shape, that is a given, but more than that I want to create a routine that I can sustain even when I get home.  I don’t want to back slide and not stay in shape.  I have lost weight, in fact I had set a goal before I left and I have already met that goal much earlier than I expected which is good.   I am getting back into the gym.  I would love to run outside, but I typically don’t get out in the day and I’m not going to run at night, confined installation or not.

Second, I am going to hang outside more, get some sunlight and air (I would say fresh air but that isn’t really the truth.)  I realized the other day that I am always inside with no windows to speak of and no real relaxation time.  So I am going to sit outside.  I thought this would be a difficult task, because the only places to sit outside are the smoke areas and I can’t really stand sitting around smoke, that kind of defeats the purpose of sitting outside J  But I was talking to a guy in my office and he said that he had a camping chair he was going to get rid of.  I borrowed it from him, so now I have a folding camping chair in my room.  I am on the second floor of a building and there is a small porch so I have decided on Saturdays and Sundays I am going to spend a little time sitting out on the porch and reading or listening to music.  I’m going to be like the lady on your street who sits out and waves at all the cars (at least that’s what we do in a small town). 

Third, I’m going to write more, I find when I write things out and even just think about other things I’m not in so much of a funk.  So I will write more and it will be interesting to what comes of that.

And Finally, I am getting out there, I have been asked a few times to sing at the church service I attend.  This request honestly made and still makes me laugh, I am not a singer, but there are limited selections of people here and so I guess I must sound pretty good in comparison.  I must say this one even shocked me but I finally agreed to be a part of the praise group.  Too bad I didn’t keep up with my piano lessons growing up I could have just played Keyboard for them.  But I am singing, because I am going to get involved. 

I am going to really try and focus on the good and pull myself out of the funk by remembering why I am here, I know this is where I’m supposed to be it is just a matter of reminding myself of that daily and being here and being involved as much as I can.  I can’t throw myself into work, don’t get me wrong I have some work , but not enough to keep me busy even 8 hours of the day.

It is different being in a funk over here, and it is easier to get into one.  You have a bad day at work or have a problem with someone, you have to live, eat and sleep with them.  You have to be around work 7 days a week.  I have lost track of the days of the week sometimes because everything is the same.  When I was in the states, sure I got in funks or had bad days at work but then I just get away.  I would call a friend and go to dinner away, or just get in the car and take a drive.  Heck if it was too bad, I could just take a day or two off and just go hang out at my parents’ house even if I did have a long so I could be around family.  Here you can’t get away, you can’t just take a drive, so I need to find other ways of “getting away” and that is what I’m trying to do here, work with what I have to try and make things different every so often so I don’t get stuck in a groove that puts me back in a funk.  I am going to keep trying to meet new people.   It is difficult being an individual deployer but not impossible so I am going to keep making the best of it.