Conference in Germany

I realized that I am so far behind I didn’t even share about the conference I was able to attend in Germany.  Of course that conference and my traveling is part of the reason I am so far behind.  

I understand I have a very different deployment then most, I have talked about that many times, however there a a ton of jobs over here that are not what everyone thinks we are doing.  We do a lot of training, a lot of helping support the economy and then a whole lot of other stuff.  And because we deploy so many people over here we do military justice over here which is why I am over here.  One of the things abut Law is similar to a lot of careers is that it is ever changing, things build, laws change new case law comes out “fixing” and issue.  As such we have to continually learn and adjust to the changes.  One of those ways is by going to conferences often called Continuing legal education.  This conference in Germany was one of those types of things.

The conference itself was very good, we learned some of the future changes in Army and Military Justice system.  We discussed some of the recent cases that have come out and what they mean for our practice.  We also met several other defense attorneys from the Europe region, I got to see old friends and meet new ones it was a great trip over all.

The conference wasn’t the only thing good, being away eating food (good food) and seeing new places was very cool too.  I had never been to Germany so I added that country to my list as well and it is a beautiful place.  I could be stationed in Europe, just for the travel opportunities alone.  Here are some pictures of my trip.

Been a while I’m sorry

So it has been a really long time since I posted and I promised it wouldn’t be that long.  Since getting back from R and R things got really busy, I moved from one case to the next and tried to keep my head on straight being here.  I don’t know how “bloggers” do it staying consistent and  keeping things updated. 

It had been two months since I posted last, but I have two months left and I am going to finish strong I have decided.  Or at least work really hard at it.

Remembering 9/11 While Serving Overseas

First off I know that it has been a few weeks since 9/11 but as is the way with my blog I write about things when I get the time and start to write them.

Most everyone remembers where they were when the events of 9/11 unfolded, I am no different.  I was coming down the stairs from my poly sci class at the university of louisville on that Tuesday Morning.  Myself and the professor and another student were coming down when the administrative assistant for the poly sci department came running out of her office and said a plane had just hit the World Trade Center.  Then she took the very small black and white TV and turned it for us all to watch the news, as we were watching the events we saw another plane hit and then the people, running, jumping and scattering.  It was shocking, it was crazy, something unforgettable.  My story isn’t much different then any one else's that day who was not in New York at the time.  Watching these crazy, unbelievable events unfold in front of us on TV miles and miles away.  

I was a sophomore in college at the time, I was and have always been proud to be an american, I get chocked up hearing that song as corny as that may be, but I do.  I was enjoying college, loving the scholarship program I was in and learning a lot about myself and what I wanted to do with my life.  That day really solidified that I wanted to do something to serve and help others.  Don’t get me wrong I never imagined or thought of myself as a Soldier (not then anyway).  But, I did know I wanted to give back, I guess I had always been that way though, I have never been about making a lot of money.

Since I was five I wanted to be a lawyer, I have no idea why but I did.  I don’t have any family who are lawyers, so it wasn’t because I saw them, and I don’t really think at that age it was because it looked like a cool job to me from TV.  I honestly don’t know why.  But this blog isn’t about why i became a lawyer or even why I joined the army neither were related to 9/11 at least not directly. It is about remembering 9/11 while in a deployed environment.

Now I need to be honest, I actually was not in afghanistan on 9/11 I was on my R and R but this year being deployed has been interesting, eye opening, and life changing.  Mostly though I have learned a lot about myself, and even more respect then I had before for those Soldiers who go out everyday putting their life in danger, looking for those we are tracking.  I’ve been in the Army a few years so this isn’t my first 9/11 serving.  It is however different when you are in afghanistan, seeing those who are fighting, see the good and the bad a lot of times, trust me the news does not portray how it really it here.  Most of what we do is mundane, but we do build relationships and try and show the locals there is a better way.   For the most part we are not out shooting up villages and breaking though things, we are just simply looking for information and trying to give show that there are better ways then living in garbage and burning whatever they can find.

Being over here serving and seeing the cause that we are fighting first hand reminds me almost daily that there are people who are fighting to for our freedoms and safety back home and how grateful I am to be a small part of that.

I am going back to a new type of family.

So I have been back on the camp for almost a week and it is like I never left for almost three weeks. I just jumped back into work, talking with people singing at church and going to the gym (although that was harder than the rest). I let off my last post talking about how it felt when my sisters left, I got homesick really, missing my family missing America. It was difficult but this time it past much more quickly.

Having someone (my friend in Italy) who completely understood what I was going through meant more to me than anything. She understood my need to relax but still hang out and my feeling even if I didn't voice them the right way. It was exactly what I needed before coming back here. At first I was kind of dreading it, because of how things were just a couple weeks before I left. But then as I was heading back here I realized I was a little excited to come back, to see my deployment family. As much as this place can be dreadful at times we are all in it together and there are those that do look out for each other. I was excited to see them again to sit outside and chill and hang out. It was weird to be feeling that way but you do make a family out here, one that can commiserate when times are bad and the food sucks.

I was ready to get back to the life that has now become normal. Walking around with a weapon, always wearing the same thing and putting my hair in a bun. I'm not going to say it is a great life it isn't but it has become normal. As soon as I put back on my uniform after r and r I Rees he'd for my weapon. I felt like I was constantly missing something until I picked it back up from the safe it was in while I was traveling. There was something comforting about getting back to normal. I was also extremely thankful that I came back to Much less drama though.




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Man did I need a break!

What a difference a couple weeks can make! I am so thankful for this r and r, I know I am saying this and I haven't even made all my travels back to my base in Afghanistan but I already feel a million times better, even if I am not looking forward to returning and have g to work.

While I was traveling I had high hopes of blogging about my travels and adventures but honestly I was so into just seeing the sights as well as relaxing that I didn't make the time. I read books and shopped and saw the sights I also enjoyed time with my family and my friend Amy.













Before I left my stomach was so messed up, I couldn't really eat, and things didn't digest well it was constantly in knots really is the best way to explain it. Even the first day of my r and r I was so stressed and worried and spun up about everything that I couldn't really enjoy not being in Afghanistan. Then I reminded myself that I wasn't in Afghanistan, and that I was away from all the mess that had occurred and was coming to a close as I was leaving. I reminded myself that I had a chance to walk away and leave it all behind for a couple weeks, and aside from a few emails that had to be sent that is exactly what I did.






I don't know if I can do all that good of a job describing what it is like after being I a war zone for over 6 months then walking away for a while, but I will try. I know I described some of this in a previous post but I am going to try and expand on it some.

First off it is a lot of the small things that really excited me. I didn't realize how much I really missed green grass and animals, and seeing kids playing and laughing. Although I could do with out the screaming kids on the plane. I saw trees and clean (for the most part) rivers and water ways and that was so nice. The last few days of my trip I sent hanging out with my friend who is station in Europe and the place she is staying had a pool so I spend three days just laying by the pool and enjoying jumping in or sticking my feet in and reading a book. It was honestly the small things, although don't get me wrong the big sights were pretty amazing too.







It was so nice to be around people who knew me before the deployment people that I wasn't meeting for the first time, I was able to spend time with my sisters who know me and my faults and just, for the most part, let me be me. Awe, finally some relaxation and the knots in my stomach started to come untied. I didn't have to worry about much of anything and it was so nice. I could just be me!

But that didn't mean it was always easy,there is still an adjustment, and I can believe even more of one if I had gone home instead of on a trip. First off I haven't had a whole lot of choice when it came to food each week our menu is basically the same, so I kind of forgot I could try new things. I know that sound strange but when you are forced in a rut it was difficult to kind of remind myself to not order a basic or a staple. Man though did I have some good food, I'm gonna miss the food.





I also kind of forgot what it was like to talk to people not about Afghanistan or life in Afghanistan. It was different for people not to look at me and know I am in the army or even that I am American. (often people would start speaking their native language and I would just act like I got what they were saying). It was also different being thrown back into civilian society with rude people who shove you and beg for money and get violent when you don't give them any. Dealing with people who feel entitled just because of who they are and have done nothing to earn it. It was different.

When my sisters were going to go through security and I began my long day at the airport waiting for my flight I was over come with a since of loneliness and homesickness that I haven't felt since really my first week in Afghanistan. I wanted nothing more than to get on the plane with them and go home to put this deployment behind me and move on. I missed them dearly in a way I hadn't missed them in several years. They were my connection to normal (because deployed life is far from normal everyday life). They were leaving to go on with their life and I felt like I was getting closer to going back to putting my life on hold again. Stopping everything again for the next 6 months.

Don't get me wrong the second part of my trip spending it with Amy was great and honestly something that I think helped a great deal transitioning back to deployment. But that is how I was feeling when they left. It was a terrible feeling.

I think that is enough for now but I will continue to update sharing stories from my trip as well as continued journeys of my deployment. Everyday I am learning knew things about myself and I am growing in respect for those that have families and children that they leave behind to serve their country.

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First part of my r and r

Wow, what a needed break! Having some time in civilization traveling away from green uniforms and weapons is nice. People aren't always on high alert and it is nice to just sit in a cafe and relax and take as long as I want eating and just sitting there. It has also been nice to put on civilian cloths and look like a real girl. I've done a little shopping too, I had to I put on my clothes that I had for the trip and they we're all too big. It was a good problem to have though, I'm not complaining.



We have honestly just toured around seen different sights and over all had a great time. Of course anytime you get the three of us together two things are guaranteed, we will laugh a lot, and we will fight some. We did both, but the fighting wasn't bad and it was over quickly.

It is different taking a trip like this in the middle of serving in afghanistan, I mean seeing things like grass and trees has been great, seeing buildings with color rather than the drab beige that we have is beautiful, and kids playing and people walking their dogs is something I didn't know that I missed but I did.



One of the hardest parts about this trip for me was, this was for my sisters, a trip away from their families and kids so they talked about missing them and being sad and there were tears for them. What I'm not sure they understood completely was this was my trip with my family so it was some times difficult but not bad by any means just a different understanding at times.


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Location:Europe

Meeting up with my sisters

So yesterday my sisters flew in to meet me which was good because they day that I got into country was not necessarily the best so I was very happy to see them.

I flew in to Paris and got on a train to get to near the airport my sisters we're going to fly into. When I got into town it was crowded and crazy, there were a ton of people wondering around and the sky was about to open up into rain. I decided to go to the tourist information building because I thought they would be able to help me get someplace to stay and tell me how to get around. Man was I wrong. The tourist lady that I went to (I had to pick a number and wait to be called to the counter) was not helpful at all and all she wanted. To do was get on to the next person. I asked her about helping me get a room for the night, I had just seen her place a call for the family in front of me and get them a room. But she told me she couldn't do it, I needed to call myself. When I asked her were I needed to go to call she said outside you can find a phone. Then I said well how would I get to this place (the hotel we were going to stay the next night) where would I go. Her response well it tells you on that paper there. Needless to say she was not very helpful.

So I went outside and went to the phones it started pouring down rain and I couldn't get the phone to work, there were two that took some sort of card and two that should have taken euros, but the money one would not take my money. So soaking wet I walked back in and went straight to another counter, I wasn't going to take a number for that kind of service. I asked the new woman about what I needed to do to make a call and she told me were to go to get a phone call, I then made it very clear to her that I didn't think they should have the woman at the end help tourist because at this point all I wanted to do was leave the city if that is how helpful the people who get paid to be helpful are.




I did take a picture of myself on the train,

Anyway, I went finally got a phone card to use the phone but the number I had didn't work, so I decided to just follow the dictions to the place and ask if they had any beds available. However the directions on the sheet were wrong so I spent almost 2 hours riding trams and walking the streets of Amsterdam before a nice local helped me find the right direction, but it didn't really matter there were no rooms. I was not having a good day and so I decided to take the train back to the airport and just go find any hotel I could. There was a room in the airport hotel so I paid way too much and just hung out there. I did go to the hotel bar and didn't have to pay a single thing for a few beers. That was nice. All in all though things got better after that. My sisters are here now and I will post more pictures and stories as we go. But my sister is also doing a blog http://mystuffytravels.blogspot.com


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Location:Europe

Traveling can even help you find things

I have arrived in Paris, after three airports and a bus ride I Amin Europe and although getting around on my own is interesting I am figuring it out.



This is by far the most unique way to go on vacation, a helicopter ride a c17 cargo plan, a bus ride and two commercial airlines just to get to Europe and now a train ride to meet up with my sisters in the morning. Plus figuring out where I am going to stay tonight, yikes! But it is excitement and fun that is well worth it, so long as I don't get too lost haha. Oh yeah add on there the first time I have worn real civilian clothes in over six months, I forgot wasn't wearing a button fly the last three times I have gone to the bathroom. But it is fun I wouldn't trade and much needed.

Already I am figuring out that traveling around a lone isn't so bad (although it is harder to take pictures of yourself, but that's ok because I am still pretty nasty from my travels so I don't need pictures just yet.

Traveling is good for other things as well, like finding sd cards that have been lost for months. I assumed they were gone for good but they were just in my wallet change purse which I haven't opened in months either. It is great to have them since I plan on taking lost of pictures. All in all a pretty successful beginning and now the real adventures begin, me trying to maneuver the train stations.


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Location:Paris, France

My load is a lot lighter without an extra 35 lbs

Today I started my journey for r and r, and trust me this vacation is much needed. It started out with me suppose to have a flight at 1400 or there about but when I got to the office and we checked the flights that helicopter had been cancelled. Needless to say I wasn't all that happy, I wondered how I would get to bagram to fly out. But, luckily I went and checked the flights coming in and leaving, there was one coming to take one of the generals out so I checked with his staff to try and get on it and they took putty on me and gave me a ride. I got to Kuwait in record time it is normally a two day ordeal but this time I got here in about 12 hours.

The different part about this travel from all the others is once I got to bagram I could leave my weapon and my vest so I'm not carrying that around. It is different weird almost to be walking around so "light". I go out to walk around and I feel like I have forgotten something. For six months every day I have had a 9mm strapped to me so to walk around or get up in the morning and not pick it up is different, something to get use to. It is a nice break though, because it is a lot of responsibility as well as the vest being a lot of extra weight to lug around everywhere.



Honestly though this start to r and r has helped me drop more than just physical loads to carry. This is the frost vacation since I joined the army that i didn't bring any work with me, that doesn't mean that I won't probably get an email or two but I did not set out to bring any with me, it is refreshing and honestly a bit weird feeling. Also it is a huge stress reliever just walking away with a backpack And nothing else. Knowing that I can just take a break. It is funny because no matter how stressful or unstressful your job is, being here for so long and having no escape is wearing. I never would have imagined it to be that way, but no weekends away, no going home and just relaxing it is exhausting. Not to mention when you put a large number of people in a very small space there is drama, because others want to believe that they know everything that is going on in your life even when they know nothing.

So all that to say I completely understand the need for r and r and I am going to live this r and r up to the fullest.


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Location:Afgahnistan

Something's just make you stop and reflect.

I write about my travels some here, heck the last post was all about them, but mostly it is how I am annoyed or where I have to sleep. I try and stay away about my thoughts about actually traveling, partially because I don't want people to think I am one of the soldiers who goes out and gets in fire fights, but I am also not a soldier who only sits behind my desk at my one FOB and never leaves, I have seen at least a few different places. Lately I have been traveling more regularly. The first time I went "outside the wire," that is the military term for when you leave a camp or FOB, I was extremely nervous, I didn't know what to expect. Really every time I go out I get more vigilant but the nervousness has really passed.

It is a different experience, traveling, especially for me because I am relying on others to get me around since I don't have a unit or a movement team. Therefore when I go out I am putting my trust in people I don't know anything about, good thing with things like that I am a pretty trusting person. But mostly, it comes down to having a peace about being here. If God brought me to it he'll bring me through it some how. Some people see this as naive I think because they don't understand how I don't worry about traveling. I'm not naive to the safety risks I'm just at peace about them. (funny I worry about everything else but I don't worry about the big stuff).

I had just returned from a board not long before hearing about the helicopter that was shot down and killed 31 people over here. I remember being shocked and saddened for the loss of life, as much as it is expected over here it is never something you want to hear about especially that many people. I'll be honest most of my information comes from the news or what others tell they they have read or seen so I don't fully know where they were going or what they were doing but most likely they were going to assist others who were in a fire fight. Which are not the type of helicopter rides I am getting on but still it gave me pause. Especially because only about three days later I was suppose to be out again, traveling via helicopter to the same region I was going to, very near the same area.

For the first time in a while I was actually nervous to travel, it didn't help that it became more difficult to get a ride down because a couple of the stopped sending their birds down there until the investigation was complete. They weren't flying those routes because they didn't know what happened. It really made me stop for a bit and think do I really want to work to get down there of our choppers aren't even flying down there. They quickly resumed routes but still it gave me pause for some concern.

But I thought about it and reminded myself that I am here to do a job a job where sometimes I am one of the only people who shows a soldier that someone cares and it is one that I feel is where I am suppose to be in. And I remembered all things are under God's control and his plan. Obviously I made it there and back and have even been on two other trips since then and every time I remind myself it is all in His control.


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Location:Afghanistan

Sleeping while I travel

I knows that I have talked about my travels before and will continue to type about them. Some will probably me more superficial posts and others more in-depth or deeper in thought at least. But I guess that is what this blog is all about right, what it is really like being over here from my perspective.

I do end up traveling a lot mostly because of the large area that myself and another attorney cover as well as the fact that you can't really control where people commit crimes, so I have become pretty comfortable getting from place to place, but, it never makes it easy or what I would call fun. Between convoys, helicopters and fix wing air craft, sleeping outside of military air terminals, and getting up at 0200 in order to walk with all my gear up to a mile in order to catch a flight it is exhausting and never something I really look forward to. The vest and helmet alone that I have to take and wear with me while traveling add at least an additional 35 lbs to my load, not to mention that I have to carry bedding with me. I am learning to travel light and I keep getting better at it.

I think though the worst part of travel is never know where you are going to sleep. I have slept on office floors, in single rooms that are reall just a big tent with plywood walls that don't go all the way up. Ihave slept in small three/four man rooms and then I have slept in tents housing over 100 soldiers. I well say this it makes me appreciate the room and accommodations I have here.






The worst is that I have found people, well at least the females, are not all so respectful of each other. I like music with the best of them but I always carry headphones with me, others are not so nice and late at night will blast their music regardless of who is around. Or they wake up in the morning and have no respect for others that don't have to get up as early as they do, and make noise and shine there lights all over with no consideration. Needless to say the amount of exhaustion increases dramatically when mixed with lack of sleep.



But on a positive note, I am learning to function on minimal sleep as well as learning to sleep in a variety of surroundings and noises. Other good things about traveling is that is does make me appreciate the accommodation I have at the camp I am at. Also i get to see a variety of things, and talk to a variety of people. Plus the more I travel the more familiar I become with the pilots and they watch out for me. The other day I was waiting for a flight and while there a crew chief came in to the terminal and said he was going to a FOB, I made a joke asking if they wanted to drop me off on the way. He laughed and the walked back out to the helicopter then about 5 minutes later he came back and said come on will drop you off. So all in all I can't complain a lot about travel but it is not the most fun part of my job.

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Location:Afghanistan

A princess?!?

The other day I was sitting out chilling outside, sitting In my chair in what has now been deemed my spot, and one of my friends was sitting outside as well playing angry birds. This is a pass time we do often each with out iPod/iPad, sometimes we even switch around, anyway, we were sitting there occasionally talking and he tells me, "you know you are a princess right."

I laughed and thought about and said "a princess, what is that suppose to mean." He said he couldn't really explain it I just was.

I responded "well at least I'm not a FOB queen." (for those that don't know FOB queens are the nicknames for those women who, get around)

He got very embarrassed for a moment and quickly shuddered out, "no, no, that is not what I was saying at all. I just meant you are a princess, not the primp and prep kind but your a princess."

It made me laugh and I knew he didn't mean it as a bad thing but more as a compliment/explanation of me and the way I make friends. It did make me wonder more what he meant exactly but, I wasn't dwelling on it. Then the other day I was traveling and I was watching the wizard of oz on my iPad, and it hit me, he was saying I am Dorothy.

Sure enough I returned and ran into my friend and said, hey I think I am like Dorothy from the wizard of oz, And his response immediately was "yeah, like I said a princess."

I am not offended at all to be compared to Dorothy, and I knew he never meant to be offensive but I did at least in my head figure out what he was saying....

Dorothy is an independent girl who is happy and pretty much a joy to be around. She isn't afraid to stand up for those that she loves and she loves everyone she meets. She sees the best in them even when they don't see the good in themselves. She steps out and tries new things even when she is scared and she puts others ahead of herself.

Think about it, Dorothy stood up to the, witch when she wanted to take toto away, and she headed out on her own when she thought she was going to loose him. When she got to oz, and realized she wanted to go home she didn't sit down and wait she stood up and took the journey down the yellow brick road setting out alone. She met others along the way and knew that they had great qualities and asked them to come along, not for her but for them. (there is a whole lot more but you get my point I think). Anyway, there is no denying that those that she met along the way helped her and even rescued her, but, not because they had too, it was because they wanted to. They wanted to be her friend and help her just because of her personality, she wasn't helpless that is clear but she accepted help and was grateful for them. She was a princess but not a primp and prep princess she was a personality princess that others were drawn to for friendship.

Ok, all that being said I'm not suggesting that my friend thought that much into it, or even thought exactly that of me. And I am not saying I am those things or all the wonderful. I am not conceded at all, but, I'm just saying I'm not offended to be compared to Dorothy and I am ok with being a "princess". I know for a fact that I would not be where I am today if I didn't make friends who have helped me along during my journeys, the high times and the low times. Some of the lowest in recent years have been over here and I did meet my scarecrow, tin man, and lion (I won't call any of them cowardly), over here.

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I'm sorry I didn't write for so long!

When I started this blog I was realistic with myself that I knew I wouldn't write everyday, I was hoping once a week. When I first got here I had so much to write it was easy to keep things posted, then I got into a groove and finding or really making time to type became more difficult. But it was my laziness mostly that kept me from blogging more often but I at least got a few things up a month. Then some things happened here and I didn't want to blog, I was going through and have been going through a difficult time and honestly even now while I am nearing the end of it I still don't know what all to write about it but I am going to anyway because I know I need to. That is what this blog is about to remind me of everything that went on over here and to maybe help my family see what it is like or others.

So I am just at halfway through my deployment and I am vowing to do better, however don't expect a lot while I am on r and r because I intend to do a lot of relaxing!,


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Dorothy you are not in Kansas anymore

I haven't written in a while and it hasn't been because there hasn't been anything going on. Really it has been the opposite, so much going on yet stuff I don't really want to write about for several reasons. But slowly I will write about some if not most of stand other things I will keep to myself. Not because I can't write them but because it would not be the best thing to do.

Things have not or at least were not easy over here for a while. Not that it is ever easy being this far away from home with no family and no creature comforts but things were down right a nightmare for a while and it wasn't because I was stationed in a war zone. I was told I was too nice, that if I wanted to make it I needed to stop caring about people as much.this was after the battle I was fighting here that caused a lot of pain. (I'm not trying to be vague and information might come out slowly but right now I'd rather not share everything out of respect). Anyway I was told to stop being so nice, honestly I'm not even sure how to do this.

The statement did get me thinking, maybe I should not be so nice, or at least be more restrictive on who I am nice to. But, the more I thought about it, the more I realized nope I'm not going to change who I am or how I act because a group of people don't understand someone who is nice. I realized I was am surrounded by a bunch of people from the north and I am just a "simple Kentucky girl" to them. I realized I'm not in Kentucky anymore where people show respect to everyone by being nice and for the most part friendly.

I am not just a simple Kentucky girl, I have seen and done my share of different and new things learned a lot in my life and have a lot more to learn. I am honored though that a group of people do see me as a simple Kentucky girl, because even with the things I have seen and done, it means it hasn't taken me away from my roots. So I decided someone telling me I was too nice isn't going to take me away from who I am either. Who cares if everyone in a while someone takes advantage of my kindness or is crazy. You can't change those people but maybe I can have a positive impact on their life. All this is really to say some times difficult things occur and in the middle of it all, or at least at the end you can see true blessings in it. I am reminded that I like who I am and how I was raised, I could t imagine myself any other way!


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A Room with a View

Well at least a window anyway which is a huge difference.  This morning was my first morning waking up with light coming into my room it was a nice change.  My previous room as I have written about in other posts did not have a window, it was in the middle of a two story metal building, no light or air got into that room.  It was kind of depressing, and I figured out very difficult to wake up in the morning in.  I would be in a grouchy mood when I would wake up because it went from pitch black to florescent lighting when I turned on the lights.  Not fun!!  But I had adjusted and made it my own as much as a 7 by 7 room can be.  As of late I have been talking to people and I was offered the opportunity to move rooms.  I wasn’t going to at first, honestly I don’t know why.  I think part of it was not wanting to be superior to anyone, others are on the inside and without windows, but, then I started thinking about it and decided I would move across the hall and get a window.    

I am really glad I did, even though the sun does come up at 4:30 here, just so you know that is am early mornings.  But it is so nice to have light real light shining in and not always be under the florescent lights when I wake up.  It is nice to have a little bit of natural light.  This morning as I was waking up I realized I was happier, not as grouchy, and I was a bit more awake then I am when I wake up in total darkness.  But  I guess that is how it is with a lot of things, when you have real light you are always in a better place than when you are in total darkness.

Remembering

Most days I am so humbled by being here in Afghanistan, I see people working together from all over the United States and honestly the world.   On this post alone we have Bulgarians, Romanians, Canadians, French, Australian, Turkish, Georgian, and others that I know I am forgetting.  Although most do their own tasks and assignments we all work side by side and continue to show a unified front.  I am honored to be a part of it even a small part.

I am not here shaping laws or organizing local nationals, I am here to help the American Soldier when they are going through a rough time.  Sometimes that is honestly just an ear to listen to what is going on in their life and sometimes it is standing beside them right before they go to jail, being the last person who was there speaking on their behalf.  But it is a humbling experience to talk to someone who has been in the Army eight years and deployed 4 times, or has a 5 year old child and been deployed 3 years of the child’s life.  I remind myself of that when I am thinking how sad I am for what I am missing.  Because in the big scheme of things I’m not missing all that much, don’t get me wrong it is still difficult at times but man the sacrifices some of these people make for the Army, for the United States is great. 

It is also pretty cool to be over here and interact with all the different services.  The other night US was playing the French in woman’s soccer and a group of us were watching.  I sat down at a table in the square where they were showing the game and several French soldiers sat down in the same area.  It was a lot of fun to watch with them and realize that we aren’t so much different and so there is a language barrier there are a lot of things cross the cultural and language issues, sports is the big one. 

What is in a Year

          When you start out you think a year is nothing, it will fly by.  And for the most part it has moved quickly I am already 5 months in and it really hasn’t been so bad.  But stop and think of all the things happen in a year and you realize how much you miss.  How much someone is giving up by coming over here to insure continued safety and freedom.  You miss everyone’s birthdays, you miss every holiday that you gather with your family and share a meal, discussion and fun times.  You summer fun of sitting by the pool getting a tan or going on vacation.  You miss every back yard barbeque that your friends have.  You miss a year of everyone’s life, with limited communication with them you are out of everyone’s life for a year.  People change a lot in a year, they move on with their lives and keep things going while yours sits on hold for a year, because you are over here.

In a year friends get married, and have children, family and friends pass away, get sick are in the hospital, and you sit helpless halfway around the world hoping that people keep you informed.  You miss out on your high school reunion, you miss your dad’s retirement, you miss life for a year.  Sometimes it becomes too much because everyone around you everyone you love their life goes on while you are on hold.   The Soldier knows they are doing something they can be proud of that they are serving their country but when you add up all that is missed all that happens in their absence you start to understand a little bit that the life of a Soldier is not easy, no matter what job you have

 Life goes on for the people back home, the Soldier waits anxiously to be able to get back involved but people have formed new friendships adjusted their life and it is hard.  But a Soldier does it over and over again because we know that being a Soldier is a calling a way of life.  So just remember when you see a Soldier returning home or what that is gone remember all the things they missed out on so that you would not miss out on anything. 

Soldier’s Creed

I am an American Soldier.

I am a Warrior and a member of a team.  I serve the people of the United States of America and Live the army values

I will always place the mission first

I will never accept defeat

I will never quit

I will never leave a fallen comrade

I am disciplined, Physically and mentally tough, trained and proficient in my warrior tasks and drills.  I always maintain my army, my equipment and myself.

I am an expert and I am a professional.

I stand ready to deploy, engage and destroy the enemies of the United States of America in close combat.

I am a guardian of freedom and the American way of life

I am an American Soldier

A Reminder of Why I do What I do

So for the second time I road in a Blackhawk at Night.  That is a very cool experience.  This year for the 4th of July I was traveling back from Kuwait back to Afghanistan not a very eventful or exciting day, in fact sadly I almost forgot that it was 4th of July, a day to celebrate America’s freedom and independence.  Last night however, the 5th I was getting back to my home base and I flew back in a Blackhawk, it was being flown by a pilot who I helped with some stuff and so right before I was getting in the hawk he got out and presented my a flag that he flew in a Blackhawk in my honor to thank me for my help.  It was very cool and reminded me why I am here doing what I am doing.  I am doing this so that others can get back to their jobs and continue to defend and serve and do their jobs.  After a rough week it was exactly the reminder I needed to keep me going.  And riding in the helicopter at night looking down on the area was amazing seeing everything so close from that angle, to see the area and the homes it reminds you why we are here fighting a reminder that I can help to give others a piece of mind so they can get back to the fight.  I do what I do because I enjoy helping others and I feel strongly that EVERYONE deserves someone on their side.  Thank for the reminder and the flag that will hopefully continue to remind me for years to come.

Another Great Thing about The Ipad, and being in the Army!

So I got an IPAD maybe a month and a half a go or so and I love it!  There are so many things that I can do with it both work and for fun.  I enjoy being able to take notes on it, being able to read on it, play games on it.  There are all kinds of things I can do, I know this is not an advertisement for the Ipad but I am really enjoying and I am glad that I had the ability to get it and get it shipped here thanks to my sis.  I have really had a great time with it.  

But the other day I found a new and great way to enjoy my ipad.  I was traveling last week I was off my base for about 10 days working on a couple cases.  I was coming back the other day but the weather turned a little bad so we were on a weather hold waiting to get out.  I was with The paralegal from my office and there were about 200 french Soldiers waiting to get out as well.  We were in a small area, at least small for that number of people and it was hot, we also didn’t know when we would be getting out or how long we would be there.  So as the afternoon came around, I found a seat and pulled out my IPad.

I had put a couple movies on the Ipad and thought I might watch one, I started it up and the french guy beside me, leaned back and said something in French (I am assuming it was something about watching a movie to his friends).  However, the volume in the size room and number of people was not hearable.  So he brushed it off and I ended up turning it off, I wasn’t going to be able to hear it.   Well I decided to go ahead and play a game then I thought why not see if he wanted to play too.  He too was board just like me, stuck with nothing to do.  So I showed him what I was doing and offered to let him play.  He did.  By the end I had played Jenga with three of four french Soldier none of which understood hardly anything I said and I didn’t understand anything they were saying.  After several games it got a little old so I decided to see what other games I had, and I had Monopoly.  So I offered to allow them to play that with me as well.  So myself and two French Soldiers sat for about 2 hours and played Monopoly on the Ipad.  We played until I got word that my flight was going to be leaving soon.

I started thinking to my self, how cool, what other job could I have that I can meet and sit with Soldier from another country and play Monopoly.  It didn’t matter that we didn’t understand much if anything that we were saying to each other, we were having fun and passing the time.  It was a very cool experience and one that I am glad I can have here.  I am honestly a pretty lucky person and very blessed.

Moments I miss my family (and extended family i.e. friends)

Over the last couple of days and experiences I have really missed my family, I think mostly because it is getting into summer and I’m reaching the four month mark and I have been busier so our schedules haven’t linked up like normal so we have talked less.  With all that, plus the near death experience, and the emotions from that I have missed them.  I can tell you it means the world to me when I get a letter from them or an email.  It reminds me that they are thinking of me about as much as I am thinking of them.  It is not always easy being here alone with a million people around.  I am an outgoing person and I can make friends or at least talk to people pretty easily, even non english speaking people (more on that in a later post) but that doesn’t make it any easier when all you really want is to talk to someone who knows you about “normal” life.   

I miss seeing my nephews playing their video games or talking non stop about what is going on with them and what toys they are playing with.  I miss asking them who their favorite aunt is and hearing them say “Aunt Stacee”  I miss seeing my niece and seeing how much she is improving.  I miss talking to my parents about everything that is going on in their lives, mom talking about what is going on and fussing over if I need anything, and dad talking to me about life in general.  I miss my sisters even our bickering and arguing because no matter why or what it is about, it is short lived and we move on and grow closer and stronger.  I miss our big family get togethers, where it doesn’t matter how long it has been since we’ve seen each other we can pick right up like it was only yesterday.  And I miss my friends hanging out playing games, talking on the phone getting a drink and, playing pool (although not very well), playing softball, or rock band.  Sometimes a person just needs to get away and unwind with people who know them.  

Don’t get me wrong I have made several friends here and I have things to do and I can talk to people everywhere I go.  I do talk to people everywhere I go, but sometimes you just want what is comfortable, what is easy, and what is relaxing.  And sometime you just want to see your family!  I love you all!

A Near Death Experience

Although this is true feel free to have a bit of a chuckle about it because honestly I have laughed at it as well...

A couple weeks ago a monday, I was going out with a movement team to go to a range with my paralegal.  He is a Specialist and still getting involved in things.  He often asks me, “how do you know so many people,”  all I can say is that I can pretty much talk to anybody so I do, then we usually just become friends.  He has been asking more about it lately so I decided to talk with a couple of the friends I have made to get him involved in some different things, at least to get him exposed to them so that he can attempt to step out some if he chooses to do so.  I can make friends for him I can only show him opportunities.  So when my friend told me that there was a range and I knew he needed to qualify, she asked if we wanted to go with a group they were taking out there and I said absolutely.

Anyway we were going out to the range, a very short drive from where we are located.  I was riding in a vehicle called an MRAP, at least a version of an MRAP, it has a side opening back door and about 4 people can ride in it.  The door would be similar to that on a jeep liberty (at least like mine, it opens not flipping up in the air but rather like you are opening a side door.  The thing about this door is that it is a hydraulic door with 800 PSI that pushes it open or closed.  there are buttons to push open or closed located in three places; in the back on the hinge side of the door, a set up front with the driver, and a set on the outside of the door under the bumper.  I think the ones on the inside near the back door need to be placed in a different spot, after my experience you will see why.

I got in the vehicle here at camp and their was the driver and the TC (honestly I can’t remember what that stands for, but he is the look out for the driver sitting in the front passenger seat).  Then there was the gunner who stands/seats in the middle of the vehicle kind of a look out with the weapon that is on the top of the vehicle.  Then myself and one other guy who was going to help run the range, we were seating in the back in the seats in the back of the vehicle.  When we got to the range the door was open and the other guy in the back got out and the TC got out (he obviously had a door in the front).  The gunner and I were still in, I moved to get out so that the gunner could get down from her spot and get out as well.  I put my foot outside the door on the ledge (it is about a 3 foot drop to the ground).  Once my foot was on the ledge outside the vehicle the door closed all 800 pounds per square inch of pressure was pushing on my sternum.  

I had all my equipment on, whenever we leave post we have to wear our IOVT (Improved operational Tactical Vest, or the bullet proof vest) and Kevlar (the hard helmet you see worn).  I was lucky I follow the rules because it is definitely what saved my life and my bones.  The pressure of the door was pressing on me and the plates in my vest were I believe dispersing the pressure over the entire front of my body rather than all of it pushing on my ribs or sternum and cracking them all.  I was screaming, (words that were not so good)  The gunner was still in the vehicle, at this time the driver has exited.  He had hit the button with out looking back to see that both of us were still in the vehicle before he closed the door.  

The gunner, was still up in her post she was getting everything locked down and secure, so she could not see me, she first though I was just joking because, for one, who gets stuck in a door and two, I was yelling so she didn’t think I would have been able to if I had been stuck in the door.  She was yelling at me to just push it open.  Trust me this does not work.  You cannot just push open a hydraulic door.  The pressure was really starting to bare down on me, it was hurting and getting harder and harder to breath and there was nothing I could do.  I don’t know how long I was in the door, it wasn’t an extremely long time but it was probably over all a couple of minutes.  The pressure what really starting to get to me.  I could see the red open and close button (two different buttons) but I couldn’t reach them.  Half my body was on the out side of the vehicle and the other half and my head were on the inside of the vehicle.  I what kicking and hitting the door and kicking my feet trying to hit the button, but I couldn’t reach.  I was not going to be able to reach it.  All I could think of what I needed to get this door open.  

Finally, although it probably wasn’t really that long, the gunner came down and saw what was really going on and tried as well to push the door open.  She was pushing and prying and pushing me and I yelled push the door open button push the button.  The door open and I was shaking, all over, I could hardly get my legs under me after it, but I was alright, I was alive.  I was scared out of my mind and didn’t want to think about how close things were to not being alright.  I didn’t take my vest off and I continued on at the range because I didn’t want to make a big deal of things, I think now I was in shock and a bit scared to think their might be something wrong. 

Don’t worry though, we got back to the base about mid day and I went and cleaned up a bit and ate lunch and then we looked at the plates of my IOTV and found the front plate was cracked, that was all I needed to get me to go to the TMC (Troop Medical Clinic).  I went and I filled out the paper work and was seen.  needless to say they were a bit shocked as well by the events and wondered how on earth this could have happened.  The first thought of most people is that I was goofing off or not paying attention, but that was not the case, I was simply appropriately walking out the door behind the other person who had just walked out.    Anyway, they did an initial check and were surprised by the few injuries i had (a lot of bruising and that was pretty much it).  They did X-rays and looked at everything but no broken bones.  The Doctor, could not believe it, neither could I really, I had a very swollen clavicle and bruising across my check and on my shoulders and back, both my knees were bruised from kicking and my left hand from slamming it on the door trying to get someones attention or trying to push it open but that was it.  

The next day I felt like I had been hit by a bus, every part of my body hurt and I had bruises showing up everywhere, but that was about it, the pain and soreness went away  for the most part after a couple of days I was/am almost back to normal.  I still get sore when I have to carry much weight, or put on my IOTV.  The last couple of days I was on my feet a lot in a board hearing and that was trying on my back but all in all I was very lucky, By the grace of GOD!!!

Honestly, while it was going on I was just concerned about getting out of the door and getting back on the ground after wards after looking at the plates with my friend, I realized how close I had come.  How different the situation could have been, and how very blessed I am, prayers were felt that day, (and most days).  I got a little shaken up thinking about it but all in all I think, really what JAG has a real near death experience in a combat zone story, only a few and I am one of them.  So that is how I choose to look at this situation.  How lucky I am!

Calling This Place Home

So I have been in country about 4 months and I have had to travel a few times away from the base where my office is located.  I have found that I now miss “home”  the home that I have created here at Camp.  I didn’t think especially at the beginning that I would be able to make this place home, to really feel like this is anything more than a temporary environment that I had to put up with but honestly it is starting be be comfortable for me.  I found myself this last time saying, “man, I can’t wait to get home.”  I was talking about this camp not America.  Don’t get me wrong I that is still real home but it am getting comfortable here at least.

I have got my room (although it is still very small) into someplace that I can enjoy for periods of time.  I don’t want to be in there all day but I don’t hate being in there, and I don’t have a terrible time sleeping.  In fact I think I have adjusted to not having a window in my room as far as sleeping goes, I didn’t realize how early the sun rises here.   My office, well it still needs some adjustments and I am working on getting things organized in it, but it is someplace that I can go and work or talk to family on my computer and even just relax and watch T.V. or a movie.  

Finally I have a pretty decent routine as well, I am getting up, going to work, and have people to eat with, I got to the gym most weeks about 5-6 days a week and I hang out at various times on the deck in front of the PX.  We have Karaoke Saturday nights, so normally a group of us go there and hang out, the singing leave a bit to be desired most of the time but it’s not terrible, most of the time.

It has been a while since I’ve written.

I must apologize it has been a while since i’ve written because things got a little busy here and I didn’t make this a priority.  Honestly, I was out of my funk but in a different mood, thinking that honestly people don’t really want to know what is going on over here.  I realized though this isn’t really for anyone in particular, don’t get me wrong I love that people read it and seem interested, but I realized this is for me mostly, for me to remember what things I went though and how I have changed and grown.  As well as simply just a way for me to keep kind of a diary or journal of this year.

So again I am going to make a commitment to myself to make this more of a priority, I want to really remember the things I go though so that I am sure that I don’t forget this time, because this is something that will and has made me grow and change.  It has definitely made me realize how good I have it at home and how much I have.  It is amazing how little you can live on, and I still have a lot  more than just my needs.  So that being said expect in the next few days several entries over the past couple weeks because several things have happened but I was traveling and didn’t really have the time or energy to type about them and get them posted, also my internet access is kind of limited when I am traveling.

Things to be Thankful For

I haven’t posted something related to me being thankful in a little while and I apologize for that,  it is not that I am not thankful but simply I haven’t made the time to type it out.  I will be honest, part of that has been that I got my IPAD2 in the mail this week and I have been doing a lot of playing on it as well as seeing all the cool things I can do with it for work as well.  It is all playing.  I have also been pretty busy in the office.  The other two people in the office were traveling this week so I have been covering the whole office plus I have just had more work to do, which is something to be very thankful for.  At least for me I am thankful because it is making time pass and I feel useful.  

So I have a several things to be thankful for, and this week I have been very thankful for getting more involved with other things going on around here.  I received some very good advise from a wise woman to not let myself get too inwardly focused, because that is easy to do here, but to find ways to be outwardly focused.  I have been working on that.  One thing I did last week was work with Operation Outreach Afghanistan, this week was more difficult to do because there was no one to cover the office, but it was nice to get packages together for Afghan children for others to take and give out.  I will be going and getting more involved in that.  

I have also, as i have talked about before stated singing in the praise band for the church service  I go to and that has been a lot of fun and really an amazing time.  I am not an amazing singer but  I can carry a tune and it is nice to help others prepare and worship.  And I am thankful because there are a few things that go on around the post and I have started attending some things to get out with a few people I’ve met here and I have been meeting more people.  I have a while before I get home and so I plan to make the most of my time here.  I am thankful that we are all in similar situations so that we can all be comrades and friends no matter how different we are.

I have so much more to be thankful for!

A bit if a Rant

Todays rant is the gossip that is going on in the military, especially down range.  This environment seems to foster a gossip mentality.  Especially if that gossip is about women.  How can the army say it is all about equal opportunity when a man and a woman can’t even be friends, without facing an investigation and harassment about where they are all the time.  The deployed military environment invites people to gossip and we are rewarding those who gossip and start rumors rather than discouraging the gossip.  The gossip and rumors and talking behind backs is what is causing the prejudice to good order and discipline not the friendship between the male and female.

Sadly commander foster this mentality by joining in rather than stopping it.  The command climate is set up to foster the rumors, to have a good joke at someone else’s expense.  Since when is going to meal and the gym with someone inappropriate yet that is exactly what has become inappropriate for males and females to do.  Because if they are seen together more then a couple times then they must be doing more then just eating together and hanging out.  It is hard for women to have friends and not be the subject of at least some gossip and speculation let there aren't many of us, so who are we suppose to hang out with.

We are conducting the don’t ask don’t tell training currently with eyes of resending that law this coming October, and yet the army isn’t even ok with a male and a female being a battle buddy, how will they ever be ok with homosexuals in the military.  Deployments are hard times and friendships are hard things to make and they are encouraged by commands, so long as command approves of who you are friends with and how much time you spend with them.  I understand the need for certain rules don't get me wrong, i have been in many debate over that, but there is an extreme.  Most commands require lower enlisted to always have a battle buddy for safety, unfortunately sexual assault is a very real thing, and for women that risk is great.  Yet we say to often that two people are spend too much time together, so in an environment were it is already hard to make friends you have to make confidants with several people so you don't get gossiped about.  Shouldn’t someone feeling safe, obviously within guidelines, be more important then worrying about gossip. 

It is almost the middle school/high school atmosphere of drama and rumor starting, and commands are doing nothing about it.  In fact they are punishing the ones who are trying to stop the rumors and gossip, when they themselves should be the ones stopping it.  If a soldier confronts another soldier about a rumor the confronter is getting reprimanded for being mean or moved for causing problems.  But, what about the one who is spreading gossip and making up the rumor because they want to be cool or because they have nothing better to do.  Therejust almost never evidence of an inappropriate relationship just,  simply a male and female spend too much time together and therefore one could assume that it must be inappropriate. 

Finally, we receive constant training about suicide rates increasing and how feelings of depression and loneliness are ramped in deployed and post deployment soldiers yet now we are telling female soldiers they cannot spend too much time with a man even in a completely plutonic friendship and always in public because others might gossip about it.  

This mentality fosters the old boys club and the continual degrading of women which is occurring daily over here.  No one complains when two men are hanging out all the time they dine together, and go to the gym, even go to the showers at the same time, yet they are not receiving letters of reprimand, because no one has decided to gossip about them.  No one has decided that they want to spy or ease drop on their conversations and make completely innocent situations dirty and despicable.  We are not concerned that the two men are standing just a little too close together, because that is not as fun to make into something wrong and gossip worthy. This letter establishes that allowing gossip to continue is more important and favorable to the command then ensuring that Soldier have a support system in the deployed environment when the threat of sexual assault is very real, and suicide is on the rise. Instead of shutting down the gossipers we have decided that it is better to risk a soldier not having anyone to talk to, allow a female soldier to get harassed and degrading looks, and to risk being by themselves at the wrong time, because the army is instigating segregation between genders.   This allows the gossip to continue and the rumors to dictate command action.


*****NOTE******


This is not about me, or something has happened to me, this is just my observations based on the work that I do and the things I have had to work on while here.

Sleeping

I have been writing about things I am thankful for, for a few reasons, most of which I discussed in a previous post.  I am really trying to stay positive because in this environment it is very easy to get down, there isn’t a lot to do, and people are more negative here, they find reasons to be negative and it can be depressing.  So I have decided to focus on the things to be thankful for, but, this blog is about the full experience, not just a pep talk for me.  This blog is something that I can have to remind myself of this experience, all of this experience.  

I have had trouble sleeping here.  Honestly I had trouble sleep some at home too but here it has been pretty bad.  It has gotten better since a friend sent me a mattress pad and the mattress topper I ordered from Amazon finally got here.  Before that even if I wanted to sleep I couldn’t  because the bed was so uncomfortable it was like sleeping directly on the strings.  Every time I moved I would get pocked so at night I had to stay extremely still or I would wake myself up, assuming I could get to sleep.  But it wasn’t or I should say isn’t just the mattress that is causing me not to sleep.  Now that I have the mattress toppers by bed it amazingly comfortable, and I still find myself laying looking up at the ceiling and wondering why I am still wide awake.

Part of it is I hear everything, all the noises and sounds in the hallway.  The building that I live in is not insulated so when someone is talking to load in their room next to or behind me I can hear them and they can hear me.  And when some one is talking in the hallway you can hear everything!  And I am already sensitive to noises when I am trying to sleep, if it is too quiet I can’t sleep because I am listen for the noises, so I have to have some background noise to cover all the sounds in the night.  But here I have found it even more difficult.  Maybe because I am listening even more for thing, or because the sounds aren’t always familiar, I don’t know.  Today thought, this morning, I think I got a glimpse of one of the problems.   

Being here most days isn’t all that bad as far as threat and danger is concerned, at least not for me, I mean I am a lawyer, as I always say if I have to fire my weapon on the base then something has seriously gone wrong.  But that doesn’t change the fact that we are still in a war zone and have threats, and one morning I did wake up to sounds of small arms fire at one of our gates.  This morning I heard noises and I woke up, it was nothing someone doing something in their room, but enough for me to wake up and wonder what was going on.  I realized I am listening I am waiting to see if I hear anything.  That is why in part I don’t sleep well, because I am listening to make sure I don’t hear a sound that is out of place.

When I do hear a sound that is not normal, I wait shutting off everything that makes noise or stopping my discussion to see if we will get warning telling us what to do next, whether I need to go to get my gear on and go to the bunkers.  Yesterday While sitting in my office with a client a plane flying over set off some flares, and I stopped what I was doing and just waited to see what was going to happen if anything.  I wasn’t afraid or fearful, just waiting to make sure everything was ok.  I am adjusting to that being a way of life.  Again, It is not that I am scared or frightened when I see or hear something, but it is a fact of life here.  It is different, listening for noises and seeing what is going to happen and subconsciously I am listening for it most of the time.

Alamo Trip

I just returned from traveling, I had to go to a different camp in the area for some work actually for two separate cases, so the trip became more worth it to travel.  With everything that went on last week a trip at the end of that week worried me a little and for good reason I didn’t tell people I was traveling.  As has been the case travel over here is not easy, at Trial Defense, we don’t have a movement team, we would barely have enough people in country to have a movement team if we even wanted one.  So I found some people going my direction and worked out arrangements with them.  However that ride didn’t show or at least was very late, but as luck would have it while waiting for the first ride I met another movement team that travels around quite a bit and they offer me a ride.  It worked out nicely because they brought me back to camp too, a couple days later, as well as gave me contact information incase I had any more travel to do, most of them were reservists out of Kentucky so we bonded quickly. 

It is always interesting to drive through the town and see everything, I wish I could take pictures but I'm always in the back of the up armored cars so it is hard to get a picture, we aren't really strolling through.  But honestly it breaks my heart, and truth be told I'm kind of sad that we will be leaving because it is going to get a lot worse, you can see the benefits we have provided them and it isn't much but it is something.  They don't have a lot of buildings most of those were destroyed years ago and only rubble stands.  I have been told if I think it is bad now I should have seen it when we first got here, there was nothing.  Now there are cars everywhere and construction equipment.  Now as you drive along the road there are a lot of roadside stands and "shops" I mean the entire road is covered with them.  They are sometimes brick buildings but most of the time they are Conexes (which are the storage containers that we use to ship things over here) or they are very rickety wooden structures, some are building that were obviously destroyed and it is amazing that they are still standing.  There is trash everywhere, and the kids just play in the trash and on the side of the road.  I think about how many local nationals work on or around the bases and can’t imagine what they did for support before.  It is a different way of life that is for sure.  I don't know what this place will be like when we leave and are not putting money into the economy, hopefully it will thrive in its own way. 

This is everything pretty much

I went to camp Alamo, and boy is it small, I thought camp phoenix was compact but this place is small hardly much room to even move around.  There are very few officers on the camp at all, and even less females, the entire three days I was there I saw only 4 female contractors and 2 Jordanian military females.  I asked someone and they honestly could think of any female military, I’m sure there are some but it was different that is for sure.

While there I woke up on the second day feeling a little under the weather, not really sick but just not right.  At one point that morning I was in a board hearing and I just started feeling terrible, I got really flush really fast, there was a doctor on the board, we took a break from proceedings and I went with the doctor to the troop medical clinic to get checked out because it has come on so quickly.  Come to find out I have been dehydrated because I have been drinking too much water and not enough other stuff (non coke products), you know juices or Gatorade.  So I am working on correcting that and have been doing much better.  So all in all the trip was actually very productive.

The trip did make me realize that I have a lot to be thankful for here although they did have cheesecakes, we don’t have those here.